I had an interesting conversation with a few friends a couple of weeks ago about the difficulty we always experience when asked for our digits from gentlemen we’d rather never hear from. She’s a super nice gal and incredibly friendly and outgoing so I think oftentimes people get the wrong signal and assume she’s interested when really she’s just that way with everybody. So inevitably they ask and then she feels stuck. I, on the other hand am not that nice or that outgoing, but I still have always had a hard time telling people no thanks. Not interested. Never in a million years…in a nice way of course. I don’t like rejecting and I also don’t like to hurt someone’s feelings, however slight it might be. And before you start in on how men are grown and they can take it, blah, blah, blah…no they can’t. Many times bruised egos make for rude men. Or men that just don’t know how to let it be and now feel it’s ok to try and bully the number out of you. So more often than not, I lie. I have a boyfriend…and just in case that still doesn’t seem to deter you and you want to convince me we could still be “friends”…we live together. And we share a cell phone. So you see, there is really no way I could give you my number.
But that’s a bit childish, right? I’m 28 years old, why am I lying about my relationship status in order to not have to give out my number? Which brings me back to the conversation I had with my friend the other week where I finally decided I was going to stop being a punk about it. She said we needed to start saying I’m sorry, I never give out my number. This definitely states that the number is not to be had but does not make it personal and also does not have to involve lying about a fabricated relationship. If you so choose, you may offer up an email, but of course this is on a case-by-case basis.
So…yesterday I was at Borders. Yes, my home away from home away from my other home, Starbucks. I was in the book section looking for something specific when I saw a man pass and give me the once over. I tried not to make eye contact because I wasn’t in the mood. This of course is another one of my problems. I am single. I complain that I never meet anybody. But, in any circumstance that is might be possible to meet somebody, I don’t want to be bothered. Unless of course one look at them blew my socks off…and this particular man did not.
By the time I made my way over to the magazine section to find my reading material for the next couple hours, he had also found his way over to the magazine section and into my personal space. He struck up a dialogue that was not in the least bit witty or clever in any way and after a moment, without any sign from me that I might be the least bit interested, he asked for my number. Armed with my new response intended to not bruise any egos, I quickly told him that I did not give out my number…and then I hastily added that we could exchange email. I’m not sure why I included the last bit because he had not come off as someone I could possibly find interesting in any form or fashion, but I suppose I was still wearing my training wheels.
What transpired afterwards was a test of my patience to say the least. He continued to try and sell himself and slip in information that I was not buying for a second. Does any lawyer you know still have the free phone you get when you sign up for a plan and not know how to input an email address?! I’m the one with the blackberry and I don’t even work! But I digress…the point is he was now getting on my nerves, so much so that I was forced to give out a fake email address. Pathetic, huh? Here I am trying to be all mature and not lie about my relationship status or give out a fake number and I forge my email because at this point I am SO sure that even words on a page from him would irritate me and I just want to take the easy way out. So I tried, but I suppose next time I will have to try harder.