I'm off to Eugene!

Have you ever felt like something couldn’t come fast enough and at the same time seemed to creep up on you incredibly too fast?! I have been waiting for the Olympic Trials for years. Lots of them. And yet…I can’t believe it’s here already!!! It’s a crazy feeling knowing that the buildup is about to be over and all that’s left now is to get it done. No more preparation, what you have now is all that you’re working with. For the last couple of days my coach keeps telling me ”It is what it is.” This is in response to my constant anxious observations about each and every little thing. How these times compare to the times I was running earlier this year… Should I be worried that last year I was able to do such and such in training… Look at how different my landing looks compared to JJK’s…How much fitness did I actually lose…Am I strong enough in the weight room…. And the simple answer to it all is WHO CARES. I have no time to add tools to the toolbox, I simply have to get it done with what’s available. So I simply take a few deep breaths and say OK.

I am actually really excited that the Trials are in Eugene this year. As some of you may know, the University of Oregon is where I won my 2 NCAA titles back in 2001. In many of the sports psychology books I’ve been devouring this year, they say that it’s helpful to recreate vivid pictures of past successes. This helps to reestablish old connections and embrace feelings of accomplishment. Naturally my experience in Eugene is part of those visualizations. The crazy thing is, I have an absolutely horrible memory. For the most part, the events that I try and focus on will bring up a very vague picture in my mind. I can remember their importance and the marks I achieved, but I usually have a hard time recreating the experience. Except Eugene. There are certain parts of that week that have stayed engrained on my brain for whatever reason. Winning the long jump isn’t really the part that I do remember clearly unfortunately. It was the first day and I won on my first jump, so of course at the time I wasn’t thinking that was the winning jump. And then at the end I was still so focused on the other two events I had I really didn’t let it sink all the way in. But I do remember the moment after I won the 200. I remember the feeling. I remember the look on my face. I remember the conversation I had with myself in my head. Of course it helps that it was captured on film and displayed on the front page of the sports section…



I look at that picture (I still have the original newspaper article but this one was conveniently already online just in black and white) and I can experience that moment all over again. I remember I wanted to outwardly show more emotion but I was so darn tired! Hence the half-hearted fist pump—that’s all I could muster. But that look on my face speaks to me…because I know the thoughts that accompany it. And that’s why I’m glad I am going back to Eugene. Because I have never been more confidant and I have never believed in myself more. I realize that occurred 7 years ago, but it is what it is. I have to use what I’ve got and right now I have that memory.