Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Picture of the Week: Happy Birthday DAD!!!

October 31st is my Dad's birthday. Yea, I know it's also Halloween, but that just always made it easier for us not to ever forget it. My moms birthday is some time in January. She's not so lucky. I know there have been a couple years I was a few days late...sorry Mom. Anyway, my Dad passed away about 7 years ago and it's the birthdays and holidays that make me think about him and miss him the most. I ran across this picture the other day and it just made me smile. I like when I smile instead of cry, because I think it's important to also remember what a great person he was and how happy he made everyone around him, instead of just focusing on how much I miss him. Right now I'm actually smiling through the tears--which is kind of a good compromise! Happy Birthday Dad. I love you.

Monday, October 29, 2007

My Halloween Costume

I'm not all that creative when it comes to costumes. My roommate and I were originally supposed to be "God's gift to Men" which was a simple costume and quite fitting for my personality. But once we got to the party store we saw fishnets and boas and thought it would be fun to wear that. So we kinda created a costume on the spot which is open for interpretation but since there were two of made it kinda cute.

The Statute of Limitations on Exes

This past weekend I went to a Halloween party and ran into an old friend. Well, more than an old friend, and old boyfriend, but it's someone I still keep in touch with and actually consider a friend. Not one of those, "hey, let's stay friends" but it's still always awkward when we see each other and my chest still fills up with butterflies when you walk in the room. I actually like him as a person—not something I can say about too many of my exes. I sure know how to pick ‘em, let me tell you.

Anyway, we chatted for a bit and did the whole catch up thing and everything was cool. His girlfriend was there with him. I know her, she knows me, and in my eyes, there is no issue. At some point during the evening I saw him standing at the bar and I went up and asked him to get me a drink as well. I mean, that’s what I do. I don’t like buying my own drinks and if I’m at a party with a bunch of my friends who are male, chances are I won’t have to. It’s a girl thing I guess, maybe not the best of habits but what can I say. But that’s not the issue.

The problem arises when he doesn’t buy me a drink and then explains to me that he probably shouldn’t because his girlfriend is there. Mind you, he doesn’t have a problem buying his “other” friends drinks, just me. So I of course took offense to that. I am not sure if I am right or wrong to have had a problem with it and I guess that is part of the reason I am writing it here because maybe I’ll be able to get some different viewpoints on the matter. In my mind, we are just friends. I don’t need to be put in a special category of friends because we dated a lifetime ago and so therefore you must treat me differently when there is a girlfriend involved. I wasn’t asking for special privileges, just the same treatment you give your other female friends, nothing more, nothing less. Maybe I am missing something but I just feel like there has got to be a statute of limitations on the idea of treating someone like an ex rather than like a friend. I believe that with some people you actually can end up being real friends. It’s not the norm but it is possible when there is respect involved and when you both have moved on in your lives.

In case you were worried, I did not have a problem finding something to drink. I was wearing fishnet stockings and a red boa for goodness sake!

Friday, October 26, 2007


Me: you remember that guy ****?


Me: ****…. that guy we met about 8 months ago when we were out at Lola’s and then you went on one date with him.


Me: well I ran into him today and we chatted for a bit.


Me: well actually, he asked if I wanted to grab a drink some time.


Me: hmmm. What a coincidence.

Women are territorial. It’s in our blood. When it comes to friends and the guys we like, it’s not a matter of if you dated or actually had any kind of serious relationship, it’s an issue of if your eyeballs actually focused in on him before mine did. If so, he’s yours—FOR LIFE. Of course, there sometimes are exceptions to this rule. I once set my best friend up with a guy that I ended up falling for and was in a relationship with for over a year. There was never an ounce of chemistry between them and she couldn’t care less so she gave me the pass and I went for it. Looking back, she would have saved me a lot of heartbreak and trouble if she would have just followed the best friend rule book and told me he was off limits! Thanks B; all those years of counseling are your fault. But I digress….

So this guy that my friend went out with ONCE was actually spotted by us simultaneously, but it turned out after a bit of small talk that she had actually met him once before and so somehow that gave her first dibs. So I took the loss and never gave it another thought…until now. Of course I remembered that this was the guy my friend had met and went on a date with, but I also remember her telling me that there wasn’t any chemistry and she wasn’t really feeling him. Hence the one date -- and not a second, third, or fourth. So in my mind I’m thinking that he’s pretty much fair game because that date was quite a while ago and she was never really interested. This was just an attractive guy she shared a meal with…nothing more, nothing less.

But nothing is ever that simple in the land of women. It just so happens that the week I run into him is the same week she thinks of giving him a call. Hmmmmm. Of course, this may very well be true and I guess that means I miss out on finding out if your lack of sparks could have been my 4th of July fireworks. I know the men (good ones at least) are scarce out there and sometimes recycling seems like the best option. I get it…the GREEN movement is popular right now and it’s spilled over into our dating lives. But I was kind of hoping that one woman’s trash could be my treasure…or at least my quarter in the couch cushion. Times are desperate.

So we will see what actually happens. I will keep you updated. Actually, I’m not sure yet if I will or not. I haven’t quite come to terms with being ok if I go on a date with someone and then they can come and read exactly what I thought of it…or them. That’s what always confused me about Carrie and Sex in the City.

***If “my friend” reads this…please know it’s all in good fun.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Picture of the Week

I'm continuing my picture of the week that I started this summer over here on my blog. Although the whole "week" part is a very loose term. It could be every other just whenever I have a picture I want to post and something I want to write about. My life gets considerably less interesting when I am not travelling around the world so in order to not bore you with pictures of me eating, watching t.v., or surfing the web, I'll try to limit too many uninteresting pictures.

For this week, I am sharing a picture of my old college roommate and myself from my recent trip to Chicago. Debbie and I lived together for three years in Arizona and we've stayed close friends ever since. She happens to be the most "grown up" friend I know and I love that about her--the fact that she's independent, successful, and a real go-getter. One thing Debbie and I do well is take pictures of ourselves...lots and lots of pictures! So I figured I would pay tribute to our friendship and the thousands of images we have accumulated over the years.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Decisions, Decisions

In the next couple of weeks I have a huge decision to make. I have decided to switch coaches and now need to figure out who I will trust to help me get ready to make an Olympic team. No big deal, just the BIGGEST decision of my life is all. I remember what it felt like when it came time to choose a college to attend. The process started at the beginning of the year and it was so exciting getting phone calls from coaches and taking the time to visit universities I was interested in. But months later, when I was still undecided about where I should go and who I could entrust to develop me as an athlete, the process was no longer fun and exciting—it was excruciating. Well that’s how I feel now, except that agonizing feeling is tenfold.

I don’t make big decisions easily. In fact, I don’t make small decisions easily. I am a huge over-thinker. When I go to a restaurant and I don’t know what to order, I stress about it, ask the waiter for his opinion, and then spend the next 20 minutes worrying about not picking the other choice. I will spend hours buying a plane ticket. Literal hours. And then I will put multiple tickets on hold so I can have another 24 hours to think about it. So imagine the turmoil I am experiencing now when it concerns my career. And did I mention it’s the Olympic year? Yea. I’m screwed.

The fact of the matter is I know I need to be somewhere where I trust what I’m doing and I trust who is coaching me. You can have the best coach and program or the worst but what matters most is that you trust in it. I know that and I also know that it is one component that I have been missing for the past few years. That blind trust that allows you to be so confident that you are doing the right thing and that there is no need to question anything. The burden is not on your soldiers because you have entrusted someone who you believe in and who believes in you to guide you to success. That’s what I want. That’s what I NEED. So I am searching, and more importantly praying, that the right situation is revealed to me.

Monday, October 22, 2007

The Introduction

Welcome to my blog! I’ve decided to step it up a notch and take my blogging a little more serious because I have a strong desire to truly document this upcoming year. Not so much the calender year, but the 2008 season, which for me holds a lot of significance. I’m a track and field athlete, and just in case you don’t know me personally or don’t realize how important this year is for someone in my profession, I hope that by following my experiences on here you can begin to understand and appreciate my journey. Up to this point it’s been a rollercoaster—some of which you can familiarize yourself with from older entries, but suffice to say the past 5 years has been nothing like I had scripted when I graduated college and decided to become a professional athlete. Nevertheless, I am a firm believer that I have taken the path I have for a reason and that God is directing my steps.

Even though track and field is a huge part of my life and takes up a large part of the space between my ears, I also have plenty of other interests and musings that I like to write about. I thought it would be more interesting for both you and I if I use this blog to write about my whole life…or at least all the things I feel comfortable sharing with friends and strangers alike. I just hope to share in such a way that you are able to get an honest account of me and who I am and are entertained enough to check back regularly so that it doesn’t seem like everything I write gets lost in a deep black hole. I always welcome any questions or comments and would like for you all to experience this journey right along with me. Thanks for stopping by!