Monday, March 16, 2009

Guest Blog



Today's blog comes to you by way of my best friend. Before you role your eyes in agony and close the tab, let me assure you that many of my friends write far better than I could ever imagine. And lest you think it's just my laziness at work, I will tell you that I did plan on writing...but she was typing away by the time I woke up this morning. And in a moment of sheer genius, the plan was hatched. We have spent the past 3 days together so her stories are mine anyway. I kinda like this idea, so perhaps you may see more of it in the future. Enjoy...







O great and wonderful jersey knit and elastic bands, how do I love thee? Let me recount the ways...

I've been best friends with the same girls for over a decade. Like a jigsaw puzzle, each of us are extremely different but fit harmoniously together as one. We've been there for each other as our parents fought brain cancer and breast cancer, divorce and infidelity, financial prosperity and financial despair. As we shift into adulthood we are sharing similar experiences as the generation that preceded us; career crisis and career shifts, marriage and near marriage breakups, health crisis and economic crisis. The puzzle pieces of our lives are falling into place and together we are beginning to form a picture of something intricate and beautiful. In the meantime, we are still proverbially spread out over the kitchen table and looking like a hot mess as we figure out where we are suppose to go.

As with puzzle assembly, sometimes you need to walk away and take a break from looking at the same pieces over and over. This weekend one of my best friends and I stepped away from the puzzling life we lead and relaxed poolside at a spa in Arizona. But I have to note that if we resembled puzzle pieces, she'd be the beautifully ornate, multi-complex, center piece that held all the other pieces together; I'd be the bottom left-hand corner piece with the trademark logo placed strategically upright, just so you can know what direction its suppose to be place. Yes, we're that different.

Different in just about all areas of life. She's a professional athlete, I'm a professional eater. She's a professional model, I'm a professional reader. She has an six-pack of abs, I have a keg o' fun. She dates millionaires, I date... uh... well, I don't date. See? We're that different.

Which brings me to joys of jersey knit and elastic bands. I was having a clothing crisis and needed serious intervention. I heard a voice from the next room and it almost made me stab my eyeball out with a toothpick, You can borrow the dress I wore yesterday. She couldn't be serious. I think it'll fit well. She was serious. Her waist is the size of my right thigh and she offered her dress to me. Maybe the sun was too much for her to handle and she's delusional now.

I stepped into the closet and pulled down the dress like Indianna Jones in the Temple of Sin, cautiously, curiously, carefully. I slipped it over my head and felt like I had just escaped the rolling ball of death because the dress fit?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!? Yes, it fit. The professional model/athlete/world-traveler had offered me the holy grail of fat girl fashion. I twirled in it. Yes, I spun around like a five year-old in her Sunday best.

I just realized that I've given jersey knit such a hard time for being cheap and made in sweatshops in third-world countries. And elastic, who knew it could make anyone feel like a model with a six-pack?

O great wonderful jersey knit and elastic band, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

16 comments:

eclectik said...

LOL@ Temple of Sin

Arent clothes the greatest!?

I dig it.

e.

brit_brat said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA
Bianca you are too much! I don't understand when you will realize how wonderful you look. Everyone else sees it!
Like my favorite quote goes...
"Guys don't want super models....they want women with stretch marks!"
Love you girls!!!
p.s. Um...I thought Brianna had an 8 pack....not 6

Dad said...

Hello B!!! When you are in a swim suit people like me notice how you look. Remember what I said about men seeing assets and women only perceived defects. The uglyist guy in the world is Mick Jagger followed closely by Mike Tyson and they think they are handsome with women galore(Tyson lives in my neighborhood, so I can tell him the truth). Mrs D was the top interior designer in Phx for years and spent her time with beautiful things and people of sports and entertainment(I know Iris-oh those bedroom eyes!). She asked me who was that striking beauty by the pool. She was talking about you! Your BF will tell you that is also true on the inside! Believe it!!

P.S. I would much rather take you to dinner than Bri. A guy needs a bank loan. That girl is an eating machine!

Erin Michell said...

Good read. . . i love jersey knit. It's always comfortable and 9 times out of 10 it looks great on. It can be dressed up with 3" heels or dressed down with some trendy flat sandals :-) Sounds and looks like you two had a fun weekend. Nothing like self-care and hanging with friends!!! Everyone needs a break every now and again.

Liz said...

It's like the jeans from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants!

brit_brat said...

wait...am I the only one who doesn't know what jersey knit is? post a picture of it please!!!!

Nikkie T said...

Brit I'm sure you have Jersey knit in your closet... Almost every Maxi dress is made of it.

And Bianca is crazy!!! I'd hardly call her the boring bottom end piece of the puzzle.

Daniel said...

Ms. Glenn,
How about that pic of me with the jersey knit Speedo on for Brit_Brat?

Wow, that is so hideous I can’t believe I’m gonna post it. But, hey, you only get your IP address blocked once!

Jasmine said...

I love you. That's all.

Ellie Waggs said...

Ok, Bri borrowed a dress from me to wear to a red carpet event..then, I got it back from her and wore it to a wedding a few weeks later...then she borrowed it again to wear out in Vegas and I haven't seen it since. The only reasons I mention this is because a. I want it back someday because it's a magical dress and b. I'm about 40lbs heavier than Bri and it fits both of us. (Ok, it truly fits her and it just happens to be generous enough to let me squeeze into it, but I'm not complaining.)

Brianna said...

I just want to say, for the record, that Bianca is the closest thing to perfection that I have ever come across. Except of course for the 8-pack...

and ms. waggs i am SO SORRY. shoot...why did you out me on my blog?!

Albert Butler said...

i luv'd that entry!!!

Ms. Waggs said...

How could I not out you, this blog post was just so relevant that I couldn't resist! :) NO RUSH getting it back to me, seriously...I know that Magic is in good hands and I have absolutely nothing to wear her to! ox...

Bianca said...

Ellie,

Don't worry. I'll get that dress back to you... Bri let me borrow it. It fit me too :)

TOTALLY kidding! But Brianna is like Jasmine and they have this issue with being a clepto, so be careful :)

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

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