I'm only going to say this once so listen up. My sister is funny. And maybe I get the humor so well because we are related and all, but this is my blog and I'm calling it like I see it. It's not too often I give her props because she has this problem with an oversized head...it's almost too big to fit through doorways. Anyway, I tell you that because as you read the following blog you might be tempted to throw a compliment her way and let her know she did a pretty fair job at her first attempt at blogging. Resist that urge. I'm kidding...in a totally serious way. The topic for the day is Men and all the untruths they tell. I could have written it myself but she seems to have taken many of the words right out of my mouth. Enjoy...
Ok so many people have been telling me I should write my own blog but I've been hesitant thinking to myself "What in the heck would I write about?" I mean really, there's only so many stories you can tell about your kids. I don't have the opportunities to travel anywhere cool. And when people randomly come up to me in stores and ask a question...it really is just to get an answer. No hidden agendas or subtle flirting unfortunately.So why am I writing on this here blog of my talented, witty, almost as cute as me sister? Well its simple...she had written a status update earlier saying...
"people put their time and energy into what's important to them. don't say something is a priority and then spend your time doing something else. that means you lie...and God doesn't like liars."
I read that and thought automatically to myself "OMG that's so true!" In my 25 years of life I have encountered liars of all shapes, colors, and genders....but men BY FAR take the cake! I don't know what it is about the male species that makes them feel the need to lie or twist the truth to a female. I've recently re-joined the dating game and already have heard some woppers! I mean, I may be a little rusty, but I'm not dumb.
Fact: A Mother is the best detective that has ever lived. She will find out anything she needs to know by eavesdropping, snooping, stalking, or interrogation.
Fact: We are(in some cases, by default) our Mother's Daughters. We know how do to the same things that they do, it's in our blood.
If you lie to my face, I will catch you. I will find the truth out. And I will bust the windows out of your car! hahaha ok the last one only happened once but in my defense he deserved it.
But when I read my sister's comment all these instances came rushing to my head of all the lines I've been given or have been told to me via girl friends that were said by men. Now looking back at them, they were just straight out lies! Allow me to share a few with you:
- I'm pretty busy at night and on the weekends so we can really only kick it during the week days.
That's a lie. No person is THAT busy. More than likely he has another woman that he entertains during those times.
- I'm trying to figure out who I am in life and don't think I could handle being in a relationship right now.
Ok that's a lie. Soul searching doesn't require no communication or fun with the opposite sex. If you're that lost, seek professional help.
- My life is really hectic at the moment and even though I really care about you, I need to focus on my career with no distractions.
Another lie! If he really cared about you he wouldn't see you as a distraction. You would be more like a refreshing break from the chaos.
-Baby it's not you, it's me. I just can't give you what you want right now.
Aww isn't that sweet? He's thinking about your needs! WRONG!!!! He's thinking about his own needs and how one of those needs is to not have to give effort towards you!
My personal favorite...
-I LOVE KIDS!! It doesn't bother me at all that you have two. But lets just concentrate on you and I for a while.
Um...ok nice try. You want to date me and just try and pretend my kids don't exists. Get the idea of robbin' the pooty out of your head because it's not gonna happen! (you'd have to have seen Jerry McGuire to know what I'm talking about)
and lastly....
-I really miss you and want to see you...I just don't have the time.
Big Fat Lie! Any person with a brain knows that when you want to see someone, you MAKE time. I have two kids and I'm a student getting my teaching degree, if I can make time to see someone ANYONE can.
I'm sorry if you've read one of these and remember it being said to you. Perhaps he was one of the few guys actually telling the truth. But that isn't always the case. If it sounds like a duck and walks like a duck.....guess what?
Please, feel free to share your own stories of lies you've been told by the opposite sex!
45 comments:
you should go watch "waiting to exhale" then some wife-beating story playing on lifetime. i hope you feel better about men soon- because generalizations like that make an otherwise beautiful woman like you unattractive. feel better my dear-
513
May I be brutally honest? The lying is for one purpose; to get laid. Thats it. How do I know? Been there done that. Then I met Malen who has been my singular focus ever since. All my time and energy has been spent to gain her respect. Nothing else matters.
The career excuse is stupid. Guys think we're dumb......well I can't speak for those who actually are. I have seen countless women who seem to be going places, go nowhere because they're waiting for the guy to act right. Men can sense when they have a girl wrapped around their finger,and they end up resenting the girl for it. There is no future in that!
P.S.
Good blog (Brit&Bri are forces!!!)
-#1 fan
Nice job Brit!
I am constantly amazed that lines as lame as those actually have a decent chance of working on some women. And I guess there are guys out there who consider it worth while accomplishment to be able to juggle three or four girlfriends at once. They obviously don't have much else about their personality worth celebrating. Some of us aren't 'players', some of us have grown up. I've said this before; when someone is crazy about you you will know it. Something won't always be 'coming up.' Settle for nothing less.
Now things happen, sometimes someone turns out not to be the person you thought they were. But at least trying to be smart about it will make it less likely you'll be standing in front of a mirror some morning saying 'I can't believe I didn't see A B and C for what they were, I can't believe I didn't see it coming!'
513- you sound like one of two people....a liar yourself or someone who has been lied to. so either share a story with us or quit your yappin'! cuz nothing written was meant to be taken personal.
But Ivar and Jon make a good point. I believe BOYS will tell you whatever you want to hear, not what you need to know. I believe once you've grown up and matured you realize being honest gets you more of what you need, than what you want. sure, at the time all you may want is a quick lay. but really, what you need is someone who trusts and respects you because in the long run that's what really matters.
well its great that you are on here as a guest blogger! well there are 2 things that woman should do to weed out the playas, the fakers, the bakers, the deal makers, the list can go on and on..so you either need to have sex right away and risk it being a "one night stand'--someone here has had to have the really bad sex relationships---or 90 day at will early termination no sex dating trial period--why? well character is the issue here so if you give up the panties early the relationship almost has no chance and you have dated another "asshole" or if you play the waiting game at least you have the chance to observe his habits and what he does rather than what he says he is gonna do--problem solved. joe p. vegas/dc
i've said some of these things and it actually was the case. There are times when i'm busy beyond comprehension; and i'm somebody who needs a lot of alone time and enjoys being by myself a great deal even if i'm into somebody. Some women call me funny acting but so what. Then again i've said i'm busy and i wasn't but hoped the girl got a clue...My question is, whats up with women who say they dont lie? I've run into this lame woman more than a little bit.
Brit_Brat,
Funny!
Yes, people do lie. And play very selfish games. And think the world, and everybody in it, ought to revolve around them.
Now, since you did the “shout out” for the most memorable responses we’ve received, I’ll give you mine. I’ve heard it, like, a 1,000,000 times (parental hyperbole there, lol).
“You are just such a nice, honest, sincere guy, I don’t want to screw up our friendship with, like, getting involved with you”.
LOL!
This is always the case when there is that disproportionate “physical” thing (she is more attractive than you. And she’s too afraid to be seen dating a whiteboy). Translation: “I’ll sure ask you to fix my car, buy me something I’d like, stroke my ego and listen to me sympathetically as I complain about my lousy day …but there ain’t no way in HELL I’m goin’ be seen dating you.”
But, you know, I’ll admit it, I will, sometimes you get desperate enough/lonely enough in life that you’ll settle for that small amount of attention or female contact. Sigh. I know that sounds so sad. But, hey Brit_Brat, at least I ain’t one of those “lying men”, lol.
Now no takin’ over your sister’s blog, doing a “coup”, lol
unfortunately brit, i have no stories to tell as I have never personally been fed a line or given some lame excuse by the opposite sex. luckily for me, every MAN that i have ever dated has been completely honest and upfront with me, and has desired to take our relationship to the next level at an appropriate pace while letting me know where we stand at every juncture. i have been able to trust and believe each word that has come out of their mouths as I knew that they always came at me from a place of respect and admiration. i realize that this makes me extremely lucky and you are probably a bit envious, but just remember that there are a TON of guys out there just like the ones i have described and have had the pleasure of dating and hopefully you too will soon be able to enjoy the same type of experiences i have and be able to wake up every day thanking God for bringing such upstanding, noble, trustworthy men into your life.
APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL. i just cracked myself up reading that over. i couldn't even do it with a straight face. hahahahaha.
ya you better say april fools Bri cuz I had some facts to prove you wrong ready and waiting!!!
Daniel, I think it would be a good idea to post a picture of yourself to better paint and image or why a female wouldn't want to be seen dating you. So hop to it!
Brit maybe you are looking in ALL the wrong places for a man...All the places where the "liars" are in abundance...ever thought of that?
Brit_Brat,
Why? So you could make fun of me? LOL!
Too old an' ugly to do such a thing!
Besides, the ‘net’s not for me really.
And the fact that this is Ms. Glenn's blog. It's not about me.
For you though, I'll repeat that line the old Sergeant used to use on Hill Street Blues, when he'd send the Officer's out for duty - "You be careful out there"
Please do that Brit_Brat. Don't get yourself hurt. Guys ain't worth that.
Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't make it clear enough when I said SOME of these have happened to me or were TOLD to me by friends.
Don't think I'm just a magnet for lies! (although sometimes I question it!) But I'm not out there trolling the clubs or single's websites....it just happens. I have yet to meet a guy at a super market though. perhaps those are the guys that I need in my life eh?
I’ve definitely fallen for a jerk or two. The ones that proclaim they aren’t dating anyone serious and then I find out they’ve had a longtime girlfriend of 10 years and she’s pregnant AND living with him.
I can honestly say though, this is the story of my life only when I’m not patient enough to see past the bullshit - or my self-contrived fantasy of what the potential relationship could look like between the guy and me. I think a lot of women fall prey to these types of guys because there appears to be a huge shortage of good guys (that we’re actually attracted to) so sometimes we’ll fall for a jerk or two b/c they are extremely hot and know how to maneuver to our weaknesses… in most cases we (women) reveal our weaknesses if they make us feel comfortable enough. I’ve learned to look for certain things now and I’d have never known what to look for specifically if I hadn’t met the couple of jerks that I did.
I know what I said has nothing to do with a specific story, but thought I’d share nonetheless!! ;-)
I thought that was actually right on the money.
Please Dana, share what you've learned to look for. I'm very curious!
Two thumbs up!
Get a blog.
The End.
@ anonymous...yea, we might be looking in the wrong place--a place called PLANET EARTH. perhaps when they get this travel to mars thing figured out we will have better luck.
@daniel...you can quit already with the whole "this is not about me" and not my blog business when you have no trouble hijacking it to talk motorcycles or whatever.
haha Bianca you'd have to promise to always comment even if its lame!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDIT10TZNro
Watch, learn, and laugh.
dp
I can't lie I have used all of the above, but I think women lie more than men. I'm 29 yrs old and I don't lie anymore. I just keep it 100 and tell the truth. If your dating someone else then don't try and keep up with multipule women. Hidding your phone and trying to cover up where you have been is to much for me. I go to work and bring my ass home. I love you ladies, but from my own view I have caught a ton of women in lies. I'm wondering if the Glenn sisters have ever told a few white lies????????? Bri???
LOL! I can really sum up it all up in one quote: When it comes to a guy that is romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do. ~ Randy Paush
Things I look for in a guy:
1. Is he ready for a serious relationship? Since I know that that is what I want, I ask what type of relationship they are looking for – you’d be surprised, but some guys are actually honest about this if you ask. There are also ways of telling if he's not really looking for anything serious. It's all about keeping your eyes and ears open to the things he says and does.
2. If he is clearly, without a doubt ready for a relationship, I look at whether he is considerate or not – this helps me avoid things like the “oh I was too busy to answer your phone call” foolishness. A considerate guy thinks of you. If he’s consistently inconsiderate about things I’ve brought to his attention, I don’t even waste my time taking things further.
3. Is he reliable? Totally deals with integrity and honesty. Doing what you say you’re going to do when you said you were going to do it. I used to give chance after chance after chance b/c I really wanted things to work out. Now, this is a TOTAL deal breaker for me. If a guy shows me that he’s not reliable, I don’t even go any further with him.
All of the things I mentioned above take time. Just be willing to take it slow. I’d rather put in 3 months of hard work upfront rather than 10 years of getting over bullshit on the backend. It’s always worth it to take your time. I strongly advise all women not to be overly anxious about revealing things about themselves, but don’t be secretive either. A guy that really wants to be with you takes his time to get to know you and he wantsto be known by you. You won’t have to coax anything out of him or wonder where you stand with him b/c he will tell you… and not after 2 years of dating!! This should definitely be within the first few months of you dating.
After dealing with one jerk in particular, I’ve learned to really pay attention to detail and observe. I think it’s really all in letting the guy do all of the work. Period. If he wants you, there is NOTHING in the world that will keep him away from you and he’ll do whatever it takes to be the man you deserve and need him to be (within reason). Guys already know what they want in a woman and if he really sees those qualities in you, he’s not going to toy around with you, or mess things up once he’s with you. You just have to be clear on what you want and stick to it, by making sure he really fits what you want. Don’t be blinded by the hype. =)
Sorry so long!! Hopefully all of that rambling answered your question!! ;-)
I think that was very insightful and accurate. I might actually put some of those in use within my own life.
now answer me this one last questions.... why is "dating" so darn difficult?
Brit_Brat,
You gonna make Ms. Glenn jealous; you’ve just exploded this here blog!
Now I can hardly believe you haven’t had the ‘grocery store’ thing happen. I really figure it will be the normal stuff of life that might bring someone into your life, someone that matters, that is.
It will be the Produce Isle. That mean’s he’s cooking (or trying too) and watches what he eats. Us ‘higher caliber guys’ (LOL on that one), we write grocery lists, shop cook, etc. Avoid those guys in the Frozen Food section, grocery carts full of frozen ‘Hungry-No-Cookin’ Man’ dinners (using that word “dinners” figuratively), that’s no class, lol.
Ms. Glenn … did you just call me OUT?! Well, I’ll be ……….. Guilty, lol.
OK. I’ll take the slap (deserve it). But, now I’ve read enough of you to know you HAVE to forgive me. Up to 77 times, girl.
LOL! Brit, I can only give you my theory on that one! ;-) I honestly think it's because women have become the seekers instead waiting to be sought after. Women are thinkers and we tend to put too much thought into dating. Take the complex thoughts out of it, leave things at face value, and have fun! Dating is supposed to be fun and I don't think too many people are having fun, it's more like living in the future rather than living in the moment. We've all skipped the part of figuring out what a person is really about b/c we want the end result. The fun is in the details. Taking things one step at a time keeps things simple and less difficult.
Just my theory. ;-)
Brit_Brat
Didn't you ever see that movie School for Scoundrels??? If you really want the girl you gotta LIE, LIE, LIE, and LIE some more. Words to live by. I
Ha, I'm playing i hope everything works out for you.
Baby_Im_StoneCold
Oh no no no Daniel. I don't care to meet someone at the store. When I grocery shop I go in whatever I have no, no make-up, and probably have one of my kids with me. It's not the ideal place to meet a man.
Dana, I like your swag, the way you think, and the level of clarity and maturity you've developed. What you've said so far has made a lot of sense to me. Thank you for sharing.
Charlie, there shall be NONE of that. If that is what you desire hit up a porn site.
moving on.....
Thanks for the hopes StoneCold. I'm in no rush to find "the one" but I'm sure he's out there.
I think Brianna, and Brit Brat have a secret competision with each other.
Why is there such competition between the two of you?
Brit Brat is hot, Brianna can jump and run.
Elmer F.
good to see I'm acknowledged for my brains....
lets forget the fact that I have been and currently still am a 4.0 student
have my certification in massage therapy
and half a semester away from obtaining my early education teaching credentials
but as long as I'm hot I should be able to skim by in life!
good ol' looks!
YEAH!
@Brit, please. This 'don't love me because I'm beautiful' thing gets so old. If you want to tell me that when you meet someone, what they look like doesn't form an impression for you, the same way it can't for me, then fine, you're a saint. I hold no illusions that I would be able to be as successful as I am with women, blind or not, if I weren't as attractive as I've been told that I am. If you are as smart as you say you are (and I believe it), it's usually not hard to tell which of your qualities someone is focusing on more than others. Take it from there.
haha
no I was just making a point. Brianna is beautiful as well, yet she was described as the fast runner and long jumper. I was just making a statement to Elmer that I was more than just my description of being hot. That's all.
Both of you ladies are SMOKIN HOT!!! Why are ya'll having so much trouble finding a good man?? What is your expectation? Sometimes you have to examine yourself and ask who is it your looking for? A good man will find you. A woman should never chase a man to be honest!
I got this line before "Baby it's not you, it's me. " Before his ass could say another word, I said You damn right is you, cuz aint shot wrong with me. and walked off. LOL. How about we've been friends for 13 years and he still hasn't gotten married or had a lasting relationship, but wants to tell me every chance he gets and say You know I love you and I know there will never be another chance with you and I. and I always say "be happy I'm your damn friend. that's all you need." Flip the tables on em it makes them feel real stupid and think maybe I'M NOT THE ONLY MAN THAT EXISTS. LOL! Great job Brit.
OMG!!! :) If i told you my story...why even go there...it's embarassing... :( But you are absolutely right on...anyone who takes offense is usually suspect hehe... I recommend (if you haven't already), Steve Harvey's Think LIke a Man, Act Like a lady :) Insightful Some people are just triflin (as i just recently had a bad experience) but let the record show that we try to believe but first offense shame on you...after that, lesson learned.
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