Thursday, March 27, 2008

Stella might be on to something

I’ve never been a “younger man” type of person. The way I see it, men are immature enough as it is. Why in the world would you want to pick one off the tree before it’s all the way ripe? Of course, this is all based on my own age at the time being the basis for what is the appropriate ripeness. If I’m 21 then 40 is a little too ripe and 18 is not quite ripe enough. But the age I am now, which by the way will be changing in just a couple weeks, is at a crossroads. I’m grown-up enough that the more mature adults don’t seem “old” to me anymore and because of my profession, I’m still very much connected to the younger generation. Men included.

So if I wanted to have a crush on someone and they happened to be born in 1983, that shouldn’t be a problem, right? At the end of the day, if they are old enough to order a beer (Budweiser, of course), and aren’t collecting social security any time soon, then I suppose it’s still possible to be able to relate. At least I’m hoping so because I’ll tell you what, there are some cute 24 year olds out there. And they look grown. And they are out of school long enough to act grown enough. And correct me if I’m wrong, but 24 is the age where your body is pretty much at it’s finest. So I think that perhaps I’ll keep that age as my bottom limit. I guess my ceiling will change accordingly, slowly accepting more mature applicants as I move forward in life. But right now…I’m thinking that Stella had the right idea.

What do y'all think? Is age "nuthin' but a number" or is there something more to it? I kind of think that men are a lot more open when it comes to what they consider age appropriate but that might be a whole other can of worms. :)

28 comments:

Malibu said...

Just a word of caution: Don't forget what the real Stella (Terry McMillan)went through a couple of years ago with her young man!! =) With any relationship, I think all that really matters is the spiritual and mental connection you share. It doesn't matter how old the person is...if you connect, you just connect. I think we all from time to time get caught up in ideals and end up missing out on something good. As long as it's a natural flow and not something you're trying to force b/c you want to speed things up a little in the relationship area, I say go for it!! =)

Brianna said...

@ malibu...hahaha...yea, i'm looking for the movie version, NOT the real life one. taye diggs is pretty sexy. but your outlook is right on i think.

T.R.E.N.T. said...

hey... it looks like im the first guy to comment, just so happens that im a younger guy that actually perfers older women. i dont know if my opinion is correct, but i feel that being mature doesnt come at a certain age. im 21, and because of my age, i get shut down all the time because of it. but some time down the road, i see the same person with a 30 yr old that is just moving out of their mothers house or something of the sort. i guess 24 is your magic number... myself and other 21 year olds are more than qualified and mature than guys much older. i cant speak for others, but i live by myself, pay my own bills, have my own car, just interviewed for a engineering management program at one of the top 10 engineering schools in the nation, already have 3 years of experience in my field and im just 21, but what is a guy my age supposed to do when women wont even give us a chance...

dinar said...

what about LIGHTER men!?!? dammit! all i know is, if you start messing with guys shorter than you, before you give the "pale skins" a chance, i'm gonna be SERIOUSLY offended. :P

Brianna said...

@ trent...you sound a lot more mature than most men my age, i will give you that. i put an arbitrary limit because i feel like i would prefer someone not living the college life still. it's a different life.

@ dinar...hey i didn't say i'm ANTI lighter men. believe me, i will go light before i go tiny.

dejanae said...

maturity is key
age aint nothing but a number as long as statutory rape aint gon be an issue.lol

T.R.E.N.T. said...

ok... i can understand that. what is living the college life though. being an undergrad still going to parties and hanging out in the student union? or is it being about your business? going to class, studying, making sure the work is taken care of...

Brianna said...

@ trent...are you making a case for yourself??!! :)

dinar said...

yippie! call me. ;)

T.R.E.N.T. said...

lol... maybe. ;) the issue of dating between older women and younger men has two sides... thats all im saying. :D the younger guys usually get the short end of the stick

Nickson23 said...

Age is a number for most people. Some young people act older then there age and some dont. Im 23 years old and i attract women ages 25 in up the oldest i ever attracted was 41.But i do have myself together i have goals a good job a car, nice apartment, and run track.would you ever dated a older guy age 38-45? :-)

Jewells said...

I typically go for older guys, however, the older I get, the men I come in contact with are divorced and have kids. Neither of which I prefer to date. So I may have to drop the age maximum down a few notches.

Jewells said...

Plus, younger men don't have as many scars and are more open to what us older women have to offer.

Joice Maduaka said...
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Joice Maduaka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joice Maduaka said...

Younger men all the way.

; )

Call me Stella.

The older men I have dated have had too much going on in their lives to make permanent room for me. Children, ex wives and crazy ex girlfriends.

I on the other hand have none of the above. Just a happy go lucky soue waiting for Mr Right to find me. lol

As long as he's over 23

Eb the Celeb said...

I definitely think its all about the mindset... but if I am 40 and still single... I am definitely going to be like stella and getting my groove back not dating some 50 yo man that might die in a couple years. I think if the person's maturity level is in line with yours that the age does not matter... but thats hard when the woman is older since we mature so much faster than men, its hard to find that in a younger dude.

Jackie Edwards said...

Hey Bri....you know, I know, we all know that my name is Stella:)!! I make no apologies for being attracted to younger men. It just so happens that they are attracted to me too!! I feel very young at heart and so I guess that's what matters. The whole thing about maturity though is key and somewhere along the way, that can either make or break the situation, much more so than the actual ages themselves. I am not partial to younger men though cause I have no problems with men my age or older either, just for the record!!!

Came UP! said...

I think a person’s maturity level should be considered before dating. But, I think a person should also consider the other person’s weaknesses and life experiences as well. Although I’ve always been very mature for my age my girlfriends would always say, “You don’t listen”! I couldn’t understand why they would constantly say this because I always gave them my full attention. It took me 6 years and 3 girlfriends to really understand that sometimes women just want their man to LISTEN. I’m 29 now, and I just got this maybe a year ago. I thought I was being a good boyfriend by giving them a solution to their problem. I would respond, “I don’t know what you want from me”…she would say, “I just want you to listen to me”…..I’d say, “I’m just trying to help you!”…she’d say, “You don’t understand!”

Its life experiences, like the one mention above, that helped me to identify my weaknesses and work on becoming a better listener. I’m 100% positive that my next girlfriend will be able to appreciate my ability to just LISTEN.

Being in Atlanta, I often meet younger women that are mature but lack the necessary life experiences that would put us on a common ground. I have found that women who are mature and have shared similar life experiences are usually a good fit for me. And these women are usually between the ages of 27 and 31.

Brianna said...

@ jewells...you are right. older usually means more baggage. if i can have my choice, i prefer someone with carry-on luggage only.

@ joice...here's to hoping we aren't grey by the time mr. right finds us.

@ jackie...or should i call you stella??? lol, i know you can't help it.

@ wendell...you are right. i think life experiences do need to come into play as well.

creolejoe said...

i'm 37 and the rule of thumb i have always been told to stay with is half whatever my age is plus 7--so--24?--so like you this is my minimum. In my experiences I've enjoyed older woman alot more. The sex with an older woman has been soooooo much better than with a younger one-i hate to reduce it to this but its "my point of view"-i don't know why this has been the case but it has--however not to be so shallow, for the most part so has the friendship/relationship--so in short from my male perspective give me a m.i.l.f and or a couger any day over the supposed rule of thumb "24" exception is a well traveled incredibley in shape real yes real long hair in shape-brown skin honey, awsome smile did i say in shape?--and loves to eat real food. also communicates rally well:) Whats up with all the bagage comments i.e. ex wives, kids, divorce, etc; I got all of those and they are all in check and well taken care of and for all the bagage anti drama people for you to know my daughter and have her in your life is a privalage-maybe thats why older woman don't even trip on that---rather they view my life as wonderful journey of high mountains low valleys deep blue sea's and big puffy clouds with the sun always shinning--as you can tell i'm sensitive about it but no-one responding to your best blogs ever is a product of a wonderful extended step family?

Marcus LANGFORD said...

a couple of years ago, i dated a woman that was 11-years old than me. believe me when i tell you that she changed my life :-] we had a lot of fun during our time together. she was an accomplished attorney with her own practice and she was a very feminine physique athlete; sexy as all day. dating her actually matured me a little bit, but i also helped her get a bit of her "youth" back; hell she even started wearing sneakers at times when we went out.

though we split up, we remain good friends to this day. she is a great woman and it was nice having been with her. would i date an older woman again? the answer is a firm "yes". though i seem to attract much younger women, i have no quarrels with being with an older women; they have a lot of flavor to them.

Marcus LANGFORD

old teammate said...

I know my ex was older than me and I matured because of her. I think she made me a better man for my current wife (which is a few months younger than me). It was almost like that Musiq song "Teach Me" because she taught me how to be in a real relationship.

However, I think the answer is situational and depends on the stage of life your at. When I was younger, I was with older women all the time. It was almost like a fetish...but now I'm married and am cool where I'm at...BUT, I see those younger women (23-28) and think if I wasn't married'...lol

It just depends on your mentality at the time your looking (or not looking) for that somebody.

I hope that kinda made sense.

Nigel "6five" Bigbee said...

24 is a good age. That's what I am and am out here working. I got a coaching job and am pursuing my coaching dream. So 24 isn't too young if you are talking about the right individual. But I am in the same boat you are. I interact with younger 18, 19 yr olds and that's way too young but 21 yr olds seem young too me. So, I can understand you.

brit_brat said...

So does this mean I should hide all my guy friends from you now Bri?
(like I even have any anymore! haha)
I honestly don't consider age to be that big of an issue. It's more about what they've done/are doing with their lives. For someone like you, you might need a man who has kinda already established some sort of life or career path for himself. There's nothing harder than to try and date someone who is still in school, starting out entry level at a job, or just getting out of a school crush relationship. If he's got his feet on the ground and head securely placed on his shoulders then by all means, give him a chance. White, Black, Mexican, dare I even say Samoan. Doesn't matter at all. But you might find it difficult and dead end dating someone who is still trying to find themselves in life because of their young age and lack of experience, when you yourself are already so accomplished and ready to settle down into some stability.

brit_brat said...

Wow...I sound really knowledgeable and wise.

Brianna said...

LOL...I was going to say the SAME thing! motherhood has made you so wise.

T.R.E.N.T. said...

random fact... how stella got her grove back came on today. lol