Last night, myself, as well as a few other athletes that train in the Tucson area, were guests at an event hosted by Johnson & Johnson, a sponsor of the United States Olympic Committee. These people work incredibly hard in their profession and they are passionate about what they do. I have to admit that I was a bit unsure at first. Here is this group of people that live in a world I know absolutely nothing about – the workforce. And they probably know nothing about my world either, but they seemed to appreciate it and were honored that we were there. We were able to share a bit of our journey and I believe they found it to be uplifting and inspiring. Then this afternoon I went and spoke to a group of high school kids. Kids that age make me nervous. I remember how I was in my teenage years…truly uninterested in just about everything anybody had to say. Luckily for me, I had no rotten tomatoes thrown my way.
I find it a lot easier to share on my blog than to share in person. For starters, this blog is simply a peek into my life and entirely a personal choice on whether or not you deem it interesting and appealing enough to read each day. When I go to events representing myself I am sometimes struck by this feeling of inadequacy. What is so important about me? Especially when it’s people not exactly familiar in an area I can claim moderate success in. I suppose if I’m talking to a girl who has jumped 18 feet in the long jump they might find it kind of cool that I’ve jumped over 4 feet further. But someone who’s area of interest and knowledge in no way overlaps mine... well that’s when I begin to feel my ‘coolness’ factor is lacking. Right now, all I can claim to be is a person aspiring to do big things. And if that’s not enough, if their interests do happen to be in line with my own, well then I just feel like my accomplishments thus far are insufficient.
Please know that I don’t say all this in an attempt to sound self-deprecating. Anyone who knows me, knows how hard the last 6 years have been for me and how much more I expect out of myself. I truly believe the best is yet to come and I hold on to that belief wholeheartedly. I am no good at “bragging” about myself, as my friends will also attest to, and I also get extremely embarrassed if they try to. (Of course this only relates to all things track related) I do realize that success is relative. It is humbling to know that my successes are considered great to some people but in my own mind, my expectations are so high that I have a hard time seeing my past accomplishments as such. Besides, there has got to be an expiration date on some things and I am starting to feel as if anything related to college is almost prehistoric.
So no, I’m not a big deal yet. But I hope to be and I hope that when that day comes I am able to embrace it and rule the ponds both big and small.
5 comments:
For people who sets there sights extreamly high sometimes they don't reflect on what they have done so far. You have some amazing accomplishments under your belt at such a young age. Anyone with dreams and high goals respect that, even if they have different professions.
I feel you on the being able to open up more on your blog than in person. I am so not the emotional, tell all my feeling type of person.
You will soon rule the ponds... I believe it!
You're kidding, right? Probably 50 people in the world over a 6 year period who can even hope to compete at your level. No other sport can boast that, much less "the workforce". I am a professor, been so for 8 years. Honestly, cool for dinner parties and perhaps to talk to neighbors, but after the "when, where, and what", it's pretty boring. But a track athlete..., European travel, sponsorships, photo shoots, parties with Jerry Rice,... even the cover of Sports Illustrated, as I am told. Way cool. Just keep doing what you do... and blog for the rest of us to enjoy ;)
You're a bigger deal than you think, but it's reassuring that you have not bought into your own hype. Humility, especially in your field of endeavor, is a rare, but precious, commodity.
hahaha! i love it because right at the moment you said your friends would attest to you being no good at bragging, i was like, wait WHAT?! and just in the nick of time, the addendum, "when it comes to track." i am seriously laughing out loud right now! you brag just for having been the one who picked a good restaurant at happy hour. :o)
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