Wednesday, October 1, 2008

missed


Today one of my very best friends, the girl who I have lived under the same roof with for the last few months, the one who has been my #1 road dog for the last 10 years, the person I feel most comfortable sharing anything and everything with, is moving away to Japan. This makes me incredibly sad. It is sad for her sake because she will be in a foreign land where she doesn’t know the language and away from her friends and family for two whole years, but also sad for myself for my own somewhat selfish reasons. I want her here, where she can be just a short drive away and an integral part of my life on a daily basis. I want to be able to get her opinion on what shoes go best with my outfit before I go out on a date. I want us to be able to go shopping and convince each other how that jacket is an essential piece of our wardrobe even after we promised not to buy anything else. I want her to be able to know what I’m thinking before I even say it. I want that friend who never tires of taking pictures of ourselves. I want to be able to see her face when we share gossip because there is nobody on earth who will give you more of a reaction when you are looking for it.


Nikkie has been my friend before she even knew it. Ten years ago when I went on my recruiting visit to the University of Arizona, a school I didn’t even think I had any interest in going to, I was struck by how at home I felt and how I seemed to fit in. And part of that was because of her. Nikkie was one of my hosts and I immediately was drawn to her. I could see myself at that school, as part of that team, and as her friend. I’m sure this is true for all people that meet her because she has this undeniable quality about her that makes you want to be around her, that draws you in and makes you love her. So for the past ten years I have loved her. Through all the escapades in college, through finding ourselves as young women, through transitioning into the next phases of our lives…through everything. If I tried to relive all the memories I have created with her, I could fill volumes.

But perhaps the most telling part of our friendship is how close we are now. Now that she is a wife and mother of two with dinner to prepare, diapers to change, and a house to take care of, and I am…me. Our lives, ones that had at one point been so similar, took two different paths and sometimes it’s not easy maintaining friendships when the roads you are on no longer mirror each other. But ours has maintained and flourished. And I also grew to love her family. Her husband isn’t just my friend’s husband, he is my friend. And her kids? I honestly didn’t think I had it in me. Usually I tolerate kids from a distance but I’ve grown to adore hers. I am legitimately sad that they won’t be around to show me things, to wear my heels, and to steal my phone.



I wrote this post because I am not good at goodbyes in person. Last night when I should have told her how grateful I am and how much I’m going to miss her and how much her friendship means to me, I could only manage to mumble a few incoherent words before the lump in my throat prevented me from saying anything else. And perhaps that sounds a little drastic because I know she will be back in a few years (hopefully to the west coast), but it’s hard not to feel like I’m losing a little piece of myself. So even though you are probably 30,000 feet in the air right now, trying to avoid the stares of people who have no idea what it is like to travel with two small children, I wanted to express how much you mean to me. You make me want to be a better friend and you’ve shown me how to one day be an excellent wife and mother. Thank you for being you, for opening up your heart and your home, and for always leading by example. Japan will be great for you because I know you always make the best out of any situation. They are lucky to have you.



P.S. Nikkie just started her own blog to document her time spent in Japan and what's going on with her family, so if you are one of my friends who knows her, or you can just tell how fabulous she is by how I spoke of her, check it out HERE. Leave her a comment or two...that kind of stuff makes her happy. :)

11 comments:

Jasmine said...

I miss Nikkie too! :(

Dad said...

This is too hard for words.

C said...

I just got sad for you!! :( And I don't know either one of you! lol. I'm sure she'll be so touched when she reads this. But hey nowt now you have a place to stay when you visit Japan. :)

brit_brat said...

You can tell a person's character by how they treat the loved ones of the person they themselves love. Nikki probably didn't know too much about me, other than what you told her but she extended her hand and heart to me anyways. Wedding advice, marriage advice, motherhood advice....shoot! she even picked the song that Melanie sang at my wedding!!! She cared about me because she cared so much about you. That is a great person. I'm proud to have known her myself. I mean, hello! She comes home and sees me wearing her dress I didn't ask her to wear and doesn't even get mad. Now that's LOVE!! I wish you a safe and worthwhile trip Nikki! Hurry back!

Anonymous said...

Yes its sad but if its for the betterment of her life then its all good.

You can chat with her on www.skype.com its free check it out

Anonymous said...

Ms. Glenn,
That was such a nicely worded expression of your feelings about a real friendship. Cherish such relationships; we don’t get too many of those in a life-time.
This was also a fine example of your NON-narcissism; people absorbed with themselves never appreciate others (how could they? It’s all about them!). But it seems evident you not only have a true friend, but, just as importantly, have been a true friend in return (which, of course, is exactly how you have meaningful relationships). I like that.
Mostly, though, after looking the pictures over, my lasting thought was “DAMN! How come that whiteboy gets so lucky?” LOL.
Daniel

Jackie E. said...

Hey Bri how come Nikkie's hair always looks flawless????

Nikkie T said...

And so the waterworks begin...again. Yeah, this is the stuff we should've said at Starbucks, or dinner, or at the car :). I'll miss you (and you Brit, and Jasmine and Dad) but I'll talk to you often. Sierra's really gonna miss you and that shoe collection :). I'll skype you when I can.

k. carli said...

Bri----I got all choked up, teary eyed, and I reached out and hugged my Sister/bestfriend and told her how much I love her. My heart is a little less heavy today than it was yesterday when I first read this though. You have discovered a bond that most people don't. Cherish it, and realize that it's still there. That type of bond is not tangible.

Thanks so much for sharing. It definitely makes the rest of us take a hard look at what we may take for granted everyday...

LaLa said...

Wow Brianna you made me cry. It's such a blessing to have a friendship like that. True friendships really do stand up to changes, your love grows in ways you never knew they could. I'm glad you have that priviledge and I hope you get to hug each other soon. Until then definitely use your webcam, it's not the same but it's nice to actually see her face in real time. :)

White Flower said...

This post made me tear-up.