Saturday, July 24, 2010

Birthday Suits

Maybe Americans are prudes. Or maybe just I am. Whatever the case, I feel oddly uncomfortable being nude in pretty much any circumstance. I remember when I first started using locker rooms back in high school i'd run to the bathroom and change in a stall so I wouldn't have to undress in front of a bunch of girls my same age who had the same hardware I did. Was anyone interested in seeing me in my training bra? Probably not, but that didn't deter me. As I got older, my modest ways have stayed with me, although not to the same ridiculous degree. I can now change in a locker room but I will still do it with my back turned and in record time.

So imagine the look on my face when I decide to take a visit to the premiere spa in Cologne, Germany for a day of rest and relaxation and they inform me that in certain areas bathing suits are forbidden. Ok, so this co-ed spa with parts that are out in the middle of nature does not allow you to cover up your goodies if you so desire? I looked at the receptionist with a bit of a deer in the headlights look and she quickly continued that there were parts of the spa where bathing suits were fine. Well, it was quite obvious to me where I would be spending my afternoon.

Everything was fine, dandy, and modest until we somehow took a wrong turn towards the saunas and found ourselves smack dab in the middle of a bunch of penises. My mouth immediately dropped open and my eyes darted upwards like the 12 year old I am and I tried to turn in another direction, but no matter which way I turned I was met with the same view. Naked people (mostly men), in their birthday suits. There was no escaping it and it was quickly becoming obvious that this was to be our experience at the spa. Even when we ventured inside to more whirpools and saunas and tried to pretend we were the unassuming Americans that just "forgot" to remove our suits, we were quickly reprimanded and told we must undress or go back to where they were currently holding the water aerobics class.

So, undress we did. However, I did my best to keep my towel secured and near me at all times. And to be honest, I didn't so much care about the strangers--although it was a bit creepy considering the men to women ratio was not that equal--but moreso my buddies. Why that is weird to me I have no idea. I kept up the charade until I tried to relax in the sauna and quickly realized that there is nothing natural or relaxing about being in a ridiculously hot sauna with a huge towel wrapped around you. I was suffocating and making myself miserable just so I wouldn't have to expose my bum to a stranger that had no problem exposing their bum to me! So off the towel came. Only in the dark sauna of course, but hey, it's a start.

Am I a prude? Would you have felt comfortable bearing it all in the name of relaxation?

17 comments:

Arie Jones said...

Yes. I would bear it all. I really want to go to the nude beaches of Brazil!

Tee Reese said...

I'm on the same page as you.. but I love my birthday suit in the privacy of my own home. 24/7 will I do it. I've had a experience of that nature at Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica. Whew! I didn't do the total nudity thing myself but to see the people that would.. Yuck! Sorry, not everybody should be quick to bare it all. Being around fit bodies most of my life made that experience 'THE WORST'!

steveburks said...

If they're not "perverts," then you're not a "prude." I'm in agreement with no labeling at all, but try not to let them make you feel indicted for being modest. If butt-naked on G.P. is not odd, then SURELY a desire to be clothed isn't.

gene said...

I had a similar experience the first time I went to a public bath house in Japan. I was 17, and the ONLY non-Japanese for about 300 miles. Yea, i got A LOT of stares. after a while, though, i got used to it. i have no problem with being nekkid in front of others now. Good luck to you!

anonymousnupe said...

To answer your questions, nope, and nope.

Really I would have thought you would have a bit of an aversion to public nudity just out of sheer sympathy for the rest of us. I mean, what normally-proportioned woman could stand being in the same (nudey) room when a statuesque Olympic mutant (and I mean that in the best way) like you walked in and dropped towel? They would cower like frightened children. And the men there were no doubt rendered apoplectic, right?

Those are the reasons I personally recommend you avoid public butt-nekkedness at all costs.

Brianna said...

@arie...even the non nude beaches in brazil are far from modest!

@tee...umm, hedonism?! What did you expect?

@Steve...that's what I thought, somehow though, I disrupted the flow.

@gene...hilarious! I've heard about those bath houses

@nupe...ha! I wish I had your confidence of my physique

anonymousnupe said...

Remember, I see your add up on the wall at least once a week. Don't forget the pic I sent.

Dust said...

Wrong turn? That's the story you're going with Bri. Freud said it best there are no accidents, subconsciously you wanted to be in your birthday suit. I think you bring more attention to yourself trying to cover up rather than being nude. Glad you were able to participate & scratch an item off the bucket list. Who knows what's next? A midnight skinny dip or posing nude for an art class, lol. Either way good job.

#2 Fan said...

I would be very uncomfortable. Most people bare it all, so those who don't, I commend. Besides that I don't know about resting my buns on the same place someone I don't know rested his genitals.That's just gross. I'll take clothing as a barrier any day lol

Anonymous2 said...

HA HA HA!!! I don't know if it's the way you wrote this or the way I'm reading it but parts of this are just plain LOL funny. "My mouth immediately dropped open", "There was no escaping it", relaxing in the sauna with a huge towel around you. Talk about getting your sweat on. On another hand with all the modeling you've done and being around models changing I would think this wouldn't be a big problem. Well at least you're working on it, especially for the amount of time you spend in Europe. One more thought. I wonder if there were any big track fans in there that recognized you.

Wiiqi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

What? no pictures. :-) From the lady who takes pictures of everything. How did you miss that opportunity!!!

Allen W said...

It seems as if you got yourself into quite the situation, and many miles from home. Americans tend to be very prudish, modest and believe in covering up the vital areas. Before I decided to join in on this blog, I have researched many of your other postings from the past. You are very proud of your fitness and take pride in your appearance, so I can only imagine what ended up burning your eyes and whatever else you saw. So even one of your bikini suits could not save you. Anyway, how are the track meets going?

♥Mommy C♥ said...

Ahahahahhaha bri that's funny!

Anonymous said...

I'm not at all shy being nude around other females, and I'm not at all bothered when other females are nude around me. But I would have died of embarrassment if a bunch of men were naked in front of me, or vice-versa!

I was on several different girls teams in junior high and high school, so I've done the group showers thing a million times. Plus, the YMCA that I go to has group showers, so again, showering in front of other females isn't an issue for me.

I don't mean to stereotype. But several of us from my work have gone swimming together before at the YMCA. There were four of us who are white, and one who is African-American. The four of us that are white just shower in the nude after swimming, our African-American friend showered in her swimsuit. She was joking around with us that "White women love to be naked in locker rooms."
Maybe locker room nudity is less common in the African-American community?

Ashley

Anonymous said...

I love to swim,too be under showers and in lockers naked,ad like to be looked at as well as looking other naked guys!

Anonymous said...

I like to be naked in showers and lockers.Looking at other guys boners I get excited as well and this ends sometimes in a sex romp at my place!