Wednesday, July 14, 2010

American Perspectives

Americans think we’re the best at everything. Did you not know that? If you do something different than us, you do it wrong. I witness this all the time while traveling with my American counterparts in countries all over the world. We love to complain when things are different than how we are used to and we are at a loss at why the rest of the world just doesn’t get it. Because we spend so much of our time at hotels while at competitions, this is prime setting for complaints. But I’ve started thinking...what if we are the ones who have it backwards?!

Dear fellow Americans, perhaps we should take a closer look at a few of these things and contemplate how we might be looking at it all wrong. You might be surprised the next time you travel how much it all seems to make sense if you just take a slightly different perspective. Maybe they’re the ones who have it right…

*no washcloths: The World is going green and it’s leaving America behind. No, European hotels don’t have washcloths, and if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. They’re saving tons of gallons of water each and every day by not having to wash them. I mean, it’s not like I roll around in sand and am covered in dirt when I take a shower. Oh wait…

*mini beds placed two inches apart from each other: It’s a great way to get to know someone on a personal level. I also think it’s brilliant when you think for a second that you’ve been given a room with one big bed but in fact, all you need to do is pull the two twin beds apart and voila!

*Incomplete shower doors and/or curtains: I’m not totally sure about this one, but I’d like to take a wild guess and say that maybe you can also wash the bathroom floor the same time you’re washing your body. Or an impromptu game of slip and slide?

*Runny eggs: We must be cooking our eggs too long in America. It was meant to be a soup and we’ve ruined it by scrambling the heck out of them and boiling them far too long.

*room temperature, shot glass drinks
: I’ve always thought that the Big Gulp was a monstrosity. I’ve learned now that all you really need is a swig or two before your meal gets to the table. Just wet your palette and be done with it. Come on, we all know that .2l wasn’t meant to be enjoyed with your meal…it’s just an appetizer. Anything more and you’d probably spoil your appetite anyway.

*no lifts (aka elevators): It’s true. We are lazy. But sometimes I think I deserve a bit of laziness when I’m carrying a 50 lb bag. Oh well, I’ll just relax when I get to my room and turn on the AC. Oh wait…nevermind. :/

Have I converted any Yanks? Anything I left out? Any Europeans want to co-sign on my observations?


Anonymous2 said...

Hmm well let's see.
no lifts: If hotel is 4 floors or less and I have no aches or pains, ok. Now no AC, well if I have a fan to blow on the dripping sweat it might help. I feel sorry for those shot putters now.

room temperature, shot glass drinks: well if you give me enough of them ok.

runny eggs: just eat more meat and skip the eggs.

incomplete shower doors and/or curtains: no problem

no washcloths: ok, but I still need a big oversized towel to dry off with.

mini beds placed two inches apart from each other: if you have the roommate that you really want to be close to great, otherwise not so great. man what if someone farts in there sleep, you'll feel it..uhhhh.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you should splash out and pay for a decent hotel. You're obviously staying in low class dives, which also exist in America btw ;)

Grace said...

great "shift" of perspective! I wish i was there with you as you were coming up with all of these. Priceless!!

Anonymous said...

All in except:
1.) Only one mini bed, it's her choice top or bottom.
2.) No washcloth? Only if your bathing partner has soft hands.
3.) Forget the shower. For $9.99 US I will hose off all female long jumpers when they exit the pit. How is that for savings.
4.) Can the human body digest egg soup?
5.) No lifts, started only in the age of gentlemen Bri.

anonymousnupe said...

We need Bidets in America!

Allen W said...

You are certainly seeing a lot of things out there that would surprise a lot of Americans. Many Americans simply cannot see beyond the USA. I work at Macy's at the Mall of America so I do get to meet the world. If you or any of your friends happen to visit, stop in and say Hi. Not the same as you of course with your travels. Since you are nuts about shopping, you can spend a great deal of your day at the Mall. So much for my stuff. Continued success. You have a enough for a book or how about speaking at track events or banquets. Besides this blog, you do have a lot to share with people. Take Care