Bad Blogger

My plan was to blog a ton while I was in Europe this summer. I figured my life would have this exciting aura surrounding it as I traveled from country to country experiencing new things and living day to day uncertain of what was to greet me around the next bend. If anything, it was sure to be a lot more interesting than my groundhogs day existence living at the Training Center. And I wanted to share it all because…well, that’s what narcissistic people do. We blog, twitter, and facebook because we are absolutely certain that thousands of people all around the world are holding their breath in anticipation waiting to find out what’s going on in our lives. Which is why I feel like a disappointment. Here it is, almost the end of the week and I’ve been silent. I feel like I should blog, and then it hits me that I have nothing worthwhile to share. But that’s not totally true; I have found that lately I share whatever I find to be amusing or newsworthy in 140 characters or less, Twitter style. And once I’ve done that, I’m left with not much more to share here. So until I figure out a solution to this terribly frustrating conundrum, I am going to blog a few of my favorite tweets from the past week. Some may see it as a self-absorbed laziness…and they just may be correct.


Tweet: I eat gelato pretty much every night...but I'm walking more than usual with all this public transportation so I pray it evens out.

Americans are known to be the most overweight country in the World, and it’s sometimes hard to fathom when you go to countries and can’t walk five steps without seeing another gelato shop, pastry heaven, or beer garden. So I’ve deduced that it’s because they walk so much more. I don’t have a car here so I must walk everywhere, even if it’s to the train station a half mile away. And those extra calories I burn are sure to be replenished with all the gelato I consume. On a normal day it’s just a mere scoop, and then on occasion it can get out of hand…. But did I mention how much I’m walking?! Here is one particular day where we indulged at dinnertime.

Before...

After...

("Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.")


Tweet: Riddle me this...why is a beer cheaper than the smallest imaginable glass of water in Germany? Guess it shows where their priorities are!

Nobody in Germany is properly hydrated. I know this for a fact. How could you be when it costs twice as much to buy a shot of water (or juice, cola, etc) than it does to buy a beer? The other night I ordered a fanta with my meal and I tried my very hardest to make it last by taking the tiniest imaginable sips and swirling my one piece of ice around until it slowly disappeared. But even with all that effort I was finished with it before my meal came. So I asked for some water, hoping they would just give me regular tap water and let me be. She served me a small wine glass filled with water and when I gulped that down she asked if I wanted more. It came straight in a glass and not a bottle so I figured at least it was free. Wrong. My Barbie sized fanta and two shot glasses of water cost more than my meal!


Tweet: I just got felt up at the security checkpoint. Like...for real, for real.

Granted, I did set off the beeper, even though I’m not sure how. But when I went to get frisked, it was as if I was on my way to serve a 6 month prison term. (At least this is what I believe they do to you when you go to the slammer.) I realize in America we are just a bit more prudish, but if I didn’t have as much melanin in my skin, you would have definitely seen my cheeks a bit flushed. My bra was fully cupped. (Notice I say bra, and not breast…this is one advantage to wearing a padded bra, the violation will be less severe.) Honestly, the whole thing was just a bit comical. I have no doubt they were just doing their job, but lets just say they take their job very seriously.


Sorry for the overlap, I promise to try and do better in the future!

Believing

“In order to be the best, you must first believe that you are.”

I have heard that quote a million times, and I fully trust its accurateness. It’s something I constantly preach to younger athletes who want to know the secret to success because I have learned over the course of my career just how important the belief in self truly is. It matters more than talent or ability, and is far more reliable than luck. And when you aren’t quite there yet, when the confidence you possess hasn’t quite reached the level you need it to, well then you fake it til you make it. Believe me, this is a useful tool. When you start acting a certain way, your mind will catch up. But if I’m being completely honest, there is still a difference between an act of believing, and that knowing that resides deep down in your gut.

Yesterday I competed in London, against some of the greatest jumpers in the World right now. It was probably a mini preview of what the finals will be like in Berlin. I didn’t jump that well, but I’m not beating myself up over it. I learned a lot and even though I’m capable of much better, it’s still an improvement for me that my bad days are not reason to hide my head in shame. And my biggest lesson learned is that I need to believe. I can rattle off the technical things I did wrong…my inconsistent approach that kept me jumping behind the board, blocking, not finishing my landing…but if I’m doing an honest gut check here, I know that most of those things would not have been an issue if I believed more.

I have to stand on the back of that runway and believe I can jump whatever it takes to win (on this particular day, 7 meters), and believe that I am just as talented as any jumper out there. I have to realize that someone could very well have a PR that is 60 centimeters further than me, and not be rattled by that and focus my energy on myself and what I’m capable of. And for all the armchair quarterbacks out there who swear that must be the easiest thing to do, stand on the back of the runway and then tell me. It is not easy, but I know I must do it. This may be more of a journal-type entry but being that I have never in my life written in a journal or diary, I’m writing it here so that I force myself to acknowledge that I need to expect better from myself.

There are plenty of things in life that we will strive to be better at. Athletics is one of the huge things for me at this point in my life, but all of us have something that we really want to improve on. It’s not enough to hope or wish for it. You must actively pursue success and engage not only your physical talents but your mind as well. You have to anticipate the greatness you want to achieve. I know enough to not expect perfection in anything I do, and that life will always bring you good days and bad days, but I do expect to be able to give my best in accordance to what I truly believe I’m capable of. And right now it’s important for me to believe that whenever I’m jumping and whoever I’m jumping against-- I have what it takes-- so that every time I step on the runway I am competing with that belief.

Making Sense and Cents

The sport of track and field doesn’t always make sense. There are those who get paid a good amount, plenty more that don’t, and a few sprinkled in between. During the time I’ve been a part of this sport, I’ve seen drastic changes in the way in which contracts are given out, and the amounts that people’s talents are valued at. Sometimes they make sense, and sometimes they don’t. Up until now, I’ve accepted whatever my position was and made the best of it, knowing that I had the ability to change my lot simply by being the athlete I knew I could be. Shoe companies will pay for success. They will pay to support athletes who make teams. I thought.

It seems as if I might have thought wrong. I have no idea exactly what makes an athlete a valuable commodity, I am just beginning to see that what I have to offer may not be it. Obviously this sport will more than likely not be my ticket to fame and fortune, I just hoped it could be my ticket to breath a little. And maybe I haven’t even got to the point where I should expect that kind of security, but I am now aware that where I imagined the top of the mountain to be, may just be an illusion. Getting paid just to be an athlete may not be in my cards. Don’t get me wrong…I like the fact that I can compete in gold shorts because I like them, and I can wear funky socks because nobody can tell me I can’t. But I’d honestly wear a brown paper bag if somebody wanted to pay me to do so. It’s no fun sitting and practice upset because the zipper on your one pair of jump spikes just broke, and now you have to go buy some new ones because you have that small little meet called World Championships coming up.

I don’t claim to be the best long jumper in the World…at least, not yet anyway. I think I’m decent, I think that as of late I’ve shown much improvement, and I think that my future looks very bright and promising. To me, none of that seems to come from left field. I know I haven’t had the world’s greatest success, but those who know me and have seen my athletic ability would vouch for my potential, I believe. I happen to be a person who is very honest and realistic when it comes to speaking of my abilities and what I’m capable of. There is no doubt that I am a confident person, but in a sensible way. I truly do believe that my best years are ahead of me though.

Not everyone shares that sentiment unfortunately, and as much as I need to be ok with that, I still find it a difficult pill to swallow. Everyone should know by now that I’m not afraid to struggle or work hard if it’s something I believe in. But just believing in myself makes it hard to pay the bills. I think that they think I’m old. And yes, we all know that 29 isn’t old in the normal sense, it just isn’t the age that spells f.u.t.u.r.e. You can give a 22 year old a six-year contract and you might get lucky. I might very well have two kids and arthritis in six years. So I get it. But as talented as I seemed to be when I was 22, I would put my money on the 29 year old me any day. But maybe that’s just me. For now though, I will continue to make it work because I have more important things on the horizon to worry about. Besides, I just bought three more pairs of socks I need to try and fit in before the season is over!

Europe...

I have learned to appreciate being in Europe over the years. This wasn’t always the case. The first couple of times I came over, I was miserable and entirely out of my element. I’d lose weight because the food was not the same... I would stay places and be completely baffled everyone didn’t embrace the same things we did. There are people who love to travel because they enjoy experiencing new things and can appreciate all the differences life has to offer…and then there is me. I’m the type of person that will order the same thing each and every time at a restaurant because I already know I like it. My favorite meals at my favorite restaurants are probably the only meals I’ve ever tried. But they make me happy…

But I do appreciate things now that I may not have before. And I’m open to the experience and going with the flow as much as possible.There are a few things that haven’t won me over though, and it’s very likely they never will…



*warm soda…what’s wrong with ice? How come I only get 1 cube if I ask for it? It is very rare that I ask for a diet coke, but when I do, I like it to be ice cold, not room temperature. Let's add to this the size of the drinks...everything is in shot size.

*small beds…I’m not even a big person, so I know this could be way worse, but I do move around a lot in my sleep and I prefer to sleep sideways on a bed. This may not work when I get a husband, but it also does not work in Europe as the beds are made for toddlers.

*no washcloths…hotels never have washcloths and this is bothersome to me as I don’t travel with my own, but definitely prefer to wash with one, especially after a day of jumping in sand.

*language barriers…of course I don’t expect everyone to speak English. I just don’t expect you to speed up and talk even faster when you know I don’t understand you. Becoming more animated and deliberate does not make your words any clearer, yet it seems whenever it is clear that we don’t understand each other, they think whole paragraphs said at rapid speed might help. It does not.

*the disregard for deodorant…no, this is not a continent wide problem, it just is very noticeable in certain parts. And as much as you must take public transportation, it can be unbearable at times.

*chain smokers…It has not yet made it across the pond that smoking is no longer the “cool” thing to do. Therefore, everyone from 8 years old to 80 seems to be smoking all.the.time…

*line cutters…this goes into a much bigger issue of the disregard for personal space, but just know you will get cut off in a hot second over here! Give an inch and you have given up your spot!

*Starbucks…y’all know I loooove me some Starbucks. But that’s only because it’s the most convenient and decent thing around in the states. Over here, most countries have a plethora of the cutest little cafes that serve the most amazing coffee. So I really can’t stand to see the big bully popping up everywhere you look.

*disappointing sandwiches…one thin slice of meet, a sliver of cheese, and some spread that’s neither mayo or mustard is the norm. And I still can’t figure out why they prefer the bread hard??!


Hopefully my list is not offensive to any of my lovely European readers. I plan to follow it up with all the things that make this place so wonderful! But I find that certain things will continue to baffle me no matter how much time I spend over here. For those of you that have visited Europe, are there any things I left off my list? And just to be fair, for you Europeans, what things would be on your list after visiting America?

Worst Travel...Ever!?

Actually, it’s not even close to being the worst travel ever, it just is the worst travel thus far of this trip and fresh on my mind…so we will exaggerate a bit for storytelling sake. It all started with the fact that I never went to sleep after the meet on Wednesday. After night meets it’s always tough to wind down because of adrenaline, extra cups of coffee, and large amounts of redbull. I’m basically a walking energizer bunny. So I stayed up catching up with friends, walking the streets of Luzern, and finding new uses for my laundry bag. By the time I packed up my suitcase and tried to lay down it was a hour and a half before I needed to be up. As we all know, the less time you know you have to sleep, the more time you spend worrying that you don’t have a lot of time and not actually being able to fall asleep. So I laid there, glanced at the clock a good 10 or 12 times, and turned off my alarm clock before it went off. Thus began my day of travel from Luzern, Switzerland to Zaragoza, Spain.

I walked to the train station and caught the 8am train that would get me to the Zurich airport in about an hour. Already I figure this to be a big score on my behalf because the shuttle they had me taking that the meet provided was leaving at 5:40am…a whole 5 hours before my flight!!! Anyone who knows how I like to travel, would understand how I find this to be unacceptable. So, I take off on the first flight to Frankfurt in a middle seat after they said I had requested a window for sleeping purposes. No biggie. I spend 2 ½ hours in Frankfurt and then I fly to Madrid. I finally have a window seat and look forward to some good rest. Except this seat doesn’t recline. My luck. So the extended nap that I thought I was going to get was more like fitful attempts at trying to find a comfortable position and failing miserably. I land in Madrid and I’m just happy to finally be in Spain. Except I’m not in the part of Spain I need to be in. The city I’m going to, with it’s small airport serviced by only 3 airlines, cost about $1200 to fly directly there so I’m going the budget route.

Luckily I have someone picking me up at the Madrid airport to drive me to the main train station that is supposedly about half hour away and then I’ll take a train to Zaragoza. But first we wait. We wait for someone else flying in and then we wait while he tries to remember where he parked the car. This takes a good 30 minutes. And once we are leaving the airport, our non-english speaking driver gets a call that someone else has just arrived that we might as well take with us, so we circle back to pick up one more passenger. I then proceeded to go on the scariest ride of my entire life. I literally saw my life flash before my eyes at least 50 times. The guy drove like a maniac. And what’s worse…he drove like a lost maniac. He didn’t know where the train station actually was and proceeded to get lost and go in circles over and over and over again.

So we arrive at the train station after the train we were supposed to be on has already departed. We change our tickets and hop on the next train leaving and barely make that one with minutes to spare. Except those few minutes somehow turn into an hour, as the train is delayed for Lord knows what reason…they gave one it just didn’t happen to be in a language I understood. We finally get moving and arrive at our destination 2 hours later. The best news I hear all day is when we step off the train and the lady there to meet us tells us that our hotel is connected to the train station. Finally…music to my ears. For 15 hours of travel you’d think I would have made it back home.

Picture of the Week: A Girl's Second Best Friend?!

My first meet over in Europe was in Luzern, Switzerland. One of the enticing things about this meet that persuades a lot of great athletes to take part, is the chance to win a diamond. First place in every event receives a 1.2 carat diamond, and then the overall winner of the meet receives a huge, really expensive diamond. Not bad for a day’s work. I will admit, during parts of the competition while I was actually winning, I probably allowed myself to create a piece of jewelry for myself for just a split second in my mind. Or…maybe I’d make sure to come back next year, win again, and then have a pair to make earrings out of. Well, none of that mattered because I was not victorious. I ended up placing 3rd and got to take home a whole different kind of prize.

A heavy duty, top-notch laundry bag.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great laundry bag…it’s just a really far cry from a diamond. And, it’s also big. A diamond would have fit nicely in my already over-packed suitcase, but giving any sort of extra luggage to a group of people who are already strapped down to begin with probably isn’t the smartest idea.

Sometime around 4 in the morning, still wired from the meet and slightly delirious, we decided to see if the bag could perhaps have other uses. It looked big enough to fit an entire person so we decided to try it out. I have no idea if this will be as comical to outsiders as it was to the three of us in the room, but we laughed so hard my side is still hurting.


First I tried to hop in myself...




That wasn't so successful...



But with a little help this just might double as a people-carrier!




In the end I left the bag in the hotel room. Even though the uses for it seemed endless, I just couldn't fit it in the suitcase easily. It was suggested I just use it as a purse and take it as my carry-on, and while I absolutely love me some oversized purses, this was a bit of a stretch. Not to mention it wasn't designer.

Public Transportation

I admit... I’m a little scared of public transportation. Being from southern California will do that to you. Nobody gets on mass transit to go anywhere. You get in your car, by yourself, and you go. In Europe, however, it’s really not that easy. Most places we fly into, but sometimes you are forced to hop on the local bus, train, or trolley and navigate your way around (in a foreign language no less). But sometimes even when I know it’s the easiest and most cost effective way to get somewhere, I still fight it. Take, for instance, when I landed in Cologne, Germany where I am based for the month. I was told you could take the train from the airport and get off at the main station, which was a mere couple blocks from where our apartment was located. Instead I took a taxi. A 15-minute taxi ride that cost me 30 euros and still didn’t drop me off right in front of where I was going. When I went to explore the train station the next day, I realized that it really was less than 5 minutes away and that the cost from there to the airport was 2 euros and 40 cents. Lovely.

Well, today I am happy to tell you that I am riding through the German countryside on my way to Switzerland on a train. Sure, it will take me 5 hours, compared to the 1 hour to fly into Zurich, but being that Zurich is an hour away from where I need to be and the whole arriving at the airport early, flying there, and then waiting for a ride, it’s almost comparable. Not to mention that I’m going big time and riding first class. That means super comfy seats, wireless internet, a waitress that brings you food and drinks if you’d like, as well as the ability to walk around without waiting for the seatbelt sign to be turned off. You seriously can’t beat it. I’d like to think that I’m a first class kind of gal but right now my funds only allow me to experience that luxury on the train. But guess what? The trains over here beat an airplane in terms lavishness by far. In fact, take a look at the picture I snapped two days ago of the “business class” section on my flight. You know what the only difference was between where I was sitting and them? That blue curtain and a hard piece of bread. Suckers!

Packed and Ready to Go!

Today I leave San Diego for what may very well be a two month stint on foreign soil. There is a chance I may come back after World’s for a quick stint, but more than likely I will be gone until the middle of September. I am excited and looking forward to what the summer has in store for me. So far this season has been my most successful one as a professional and I am praying that continues in the months to come. Right now I have four competitions scheduled for the month of July in preparation for Berlin. I do try to keep my website updated on where I will be competing, as those small details tend to change as quickly as the weather at times, so check there if you don’t get my daily updates on twitter.

I am also quite proud that I will be paying no baggage fees at the airport today! Some might think that is no big deal, but they’ve never traveled as Brianna Marie Glenn. I like to feel at ease when I’m traveling and that includes wearing appropriate clothes, with the appropriate footwear, and the appropriate accessories to go along with it. Why would I carry a brown purse when I’m wearing black shoes?! It’s summer so some places will be hot, but then you’ll land in England and be met with chilly weather and a torrential downpour. You have to be prepared for everything! And let’s not get started on toiletries. I bring it all with me…I don’t trust what they may or may not have at the market in Germany. This got me into trouble my first trip to Europe back in 2001 when I left for a month and packed my whole closet to come along with me. Needless to say, I have tried to remember that I should not travel as if my name is Posh Spice.

I look forward to keeping you all updated and entertained for the next couple of months and I hope that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers for safe travels and super far jumps! Until next time…

Pray Expectantly

I pray. I pray before my meals either alone or out loud with friends, I pray before I go to sleep at night, I pray throughout the day when I think of something I want to converse with the big man about, I pray all throughout a competition…you get the picture. But sometimes it’s not about if you pray, it’s about how you pray. And this is an area I know I can improve upon. In fact, we are going through this exact subject in church right now (shout out to The Rock Church!) and I have found it to be very enlightening. When you pray about specific things in your life, you also must believe and trust that he will answer those prayers. Sometimes that’s the hard part…believing he hears you and that he will answer. That’s faith. Sometimes I feel like I just throw it up there and then I hope… kind of like crossing my fingers that God is able and willing to do things in my life. But, duh…he’s God. Why in the world would I sell him short?!

Lately I feel like I’ve been having a lot of prayers answered and it’s just made me feel extremely blessed. And I think it’s important to give credit where credit is due. Sometimes things happen in such a precise and detailed way that you absolutely know it was an answer to prayer. The stars only align when He tells them to. So every time I wonder how I will possibly pay the bills next month and a check arrives two days later, or I need a place to live and someone graciously opens their home, or I’m told my best years as an athlete may be behind me and I make a team after nine years of trying, or my knee suddenly has no pain after multiple doctors tell me another surgery is the only option…my list can go on and on but you get the point. He heard me and He answered.

God is real. He still has a few other of my prayer items he’s up there working on (i.e. my husband!), but I know and am constantly reminded to expect that he is working on my behalf to fulfill my needs and give me the desires of my heart. (According to his will, of course.) Today I just wanted to share that with you and I’ll leave you with a verse my best friend shared with me the other day…

Psalm 5:3 In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

Lunchables...

Over the weekend I had a conversation with my best friend about boys. One might wonder why I am almost 30 and still referring to the opposite sex as “boys”… I don’t know, but I’m sure there is a reason. Anyway, we went through all of my past loves, relationships, and flings over the past 10 years and made note of what that particular person brought to the table that I appreciated and valued. They say that each and every person comes into your life for a reason and so I suppose it’s important to make sure you take the time to understand just what that reason really is. All of my exes are no longer, but I can still appreciate them and what they brought to my life, as well as the person they helped me to become.

As I sat and went down the list with my friend, I must admit that I did get stuck on 1 or 2 names. Anyone remember what the heck I was doing with my love life back in 2005?! Yea, I’d like to forget too. But there was still that relationship where I learned the value of compromise, the guy that taught me that every disagreement didn’t need to be an argument, the one who showed me that I should wait to have my car door opened, the list goes on and on. At this age, I take dating far more seriously. Not necessarily the casual date I might go on, but the actual relationships I will let myself be a part of. Through trial and error I have learned what works for me and what I need to stay far, far away from. It would be nice if I could go through my list and choose the best qualities from all those men, and combine them into one hot hunk of a man. My friend described it as creating your perfect little snack bite when you’re eating lunchables. Nobody wants to sit there and just snack on crackers, or only pop pieces of lunch meat into their mouth. But…when you get the cracker, the piece of meat, and top it off with some cheese, that’s a pretty awesome snack bite! I just wish I’d be able to do that with men. The combinations seem much more appealing!

In all fairness though, some of these men are really great guys…they just weren’t right for me. And I’m sure that if given the opportunity they’d like to break up my own qualities and pick one or two to make their own lunchable date with. Which ones do you think they’d leave behind??!

Dear Anonymous...

I’m giving you a 1-2 punch with two posts right in a row, but something caught my attention while I was writing the post below, and it was too good to let it slip by. As I was linking to an older post that explained my decision to continue training and move down to San Diego, I read over the comments of that post. Most of them were extremely positive, wishing me only the best in my endeavors. I’m sure not everybody out there had the belief that I could actually be successful or begin to achieve the things that I hoped to, but most were kind enough to wish me the best. Most. I distinctly remember that around that time I had a new resurgence of people who felt it was their duty to tell me that I should move on with my life, that it really wasn’t possible to accomplish much more, and that I was hanging on to a dream that would never be. Even though they were probably people I didn’t know, it was sometimes hard to hear and it would bring out a side of me that wasn’t always pleasant. So instead of feeling like I needed to defend myself constantly against these negative people, I’d choose to delete their words and moderate my comments. As you might have noticed, I’m still in moderation mode.

But on occasion I’d let them through and even respond if I felt like it, if I felt like they were giving their honest opinion and not just being mean for meanness sake. Here is a particular comment that stood out to me from that post:

Anonymous said... Easy way out. Unless you can consistently jump over 6.60 you aren't going to go anywhere in the sport today.

But hey another year of mooching off the system won't hurt and keeps you in your comfort zone.

Sad.

My response: @anonymous...if i couldn't consistently jump over 6.60 then I'd be wasting my time. Do you know the average of my top five jumps in 2007? 6.60 isn't even where my goal is at. but thank you for your concern and i assure you that by year's end you will eat your words.

Anonymous said...

No hating. Just that she is not moving forward she is stuck. Afraid to go out and face the real world she clings to being an athlete. Hard to blame her as it is one of the best lifestyles in the world. BUT if she starts moaning on about how hard training is , how much she is sacrificing-well you are a fool if you enable that.
I have seen other athelets do exactly what she is doing-can't accept that it is time to move on -and it is for her though she will rationalize otherwise.

On a positive nore I have trainesdin Chula Vista and it is an amazing facilty.
Bri will love that she can live like a college kid again-no cooking, cleaning or taking care of anyone but you.
You know moving forward as she says.

And of course I then responded AGAIN, but after that I just stopped posting his responses because he had made his point and I knew we weren’t getting anywhere. But I’d like to know if this particular “anonymous” is still out there. I don’t doubt that this person probably still reads the blog, but it’s more than likely he now prefers to stay quiet. Some people are just like that, they only speak up when it brings someone down, not to lift them up. It’s a shame really, but we need all types of people to make the world go round. Anyway, I said I would make you eat your words and hopefully I have. Of course that was never my motivation, but it’s nice to be able to prove you wrong.

Bittersweet

This past week has been a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I have shared with you my total elation about making the World Championship team and all of my silly giddiness that came along with it. What I haven’t shared thus far, however, is a bit of news I have received that has given me a ton of other things to think about and emotions to work through. As happy as I have been, I also feel as if dealing with this other stuff mentally has taken a bit of a toll.

The day after the U.S. Nationals ended, the athletes I train with down here at the Olympic Training Center found out that our coach is leaving at the end of this season to go work with athletes in the U.K. via mass email. It was shocking news that none of us expected and it has been heavy on my heart ever since. In case you are wondering, I have changed coaches and training locations every year since I’ve graduated from college. That now makes a total of 7 changes. Some of those changes were necessary and warranted, but not all. I have been craving consistency and for a chance to work within a program and with a coach that I trusted and believed in. And I thought I had found that here. Some of you may remember a post I wrote when I decided I was moving down here to train at the beginning of this season. Here is an excerpt:

And then I heard that a coach I had been trying to work with since back in 2004 might be hired down at the Olympic Training Center. In my opinion he’s one of the greatest coaches in the world and from our talks in previous years I know he doesn’t think I’m too shabby myself. So I asked him and found out it was true. …..
But now that I had talked to him I began to feel the fire lighting back up. I didn’t want to train just to train, but if I could train with him at a place where virtually everything is set up for success and we have access to the best of everything, it seemed like to good of an option to not consider.

Anyway, there is a lot to think about and try and figure out as far as my future is concerned but I realize that now is not the time for that. I have big things ahead of me this summer that deserve my utmost attention and I am trying my best to continue to stay focused on that. Because of how things unfolded however, there is a bit of a disconnect and trust issues that I now have and I’m just trying to figure out how to make the best of the situation. As individual as this sport is, there is a relationship you hope to have where it feels as if you approach something with a shared desire for success and a belief and trust in each other.

For now, I’m just praying for guidance and to just stay focused on the next few months and not worry about what the future may hold. I know that the confidence I have in myself is what matters most and so I’m counting on that to see me through. Thanks for listening…I feel better now that I’ve written it out.