Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Discernment

As you know, I have been taking time to figure out the direction of my life. And when I say taking time, that usually doesn’t involve much actual action. It is extremely difficult to act when you don’t know or aren’t sure what it is you are supposed to be acting on. How do you go full steam ahead when you don’t even know what direction you are supposed to be headed in? So I’ve been lazy patient and really just making sure I pray about it and am able to feel good about the direction I am headed. My biggest struggle is trying to figure out what God wants from me. Have I come to this point in my life, faced with more obstacles and struggle so that I can work that much harder and overcome it, or is it his way of getting my attention and saying this is not the path for me. Basically, I want to know if I am supposed to realize that this door is shutting for a reason or if he wants me to kick the door down. I know that there are many athletes that can relate to this feeling as well as the general population in certain areas of their lives. I know I am a fighter; I just want to make sure I am in the right battle.

I am sure if you have been reading my blog for the past couple of months you realize that I have, and continue to, struggle with this. I believe there is a plan for my life, a great one, and I just want to make sure I do everything I need to do to be on board. After Trials I really thought that that was my signal. Move on. And I thought that message was clear and obvious. But after some time it seemed a little more cloudy so I decided to be patient and let things become apparent without forcing the issue. And what I really wanted is for God to get on the megaphone and just yell down the answer to me. Or maybe just have it appear on the bathroom mirror after I stepped out of the shower. You know—something I couldn’t mistake. But so far he’s not giving me that type of sign. He’s being silent, or at least quiet enough to where I am still writing blogs telling you all I don’t know yet what I’m doing.

So I decided to make this deal with the big man, saying that if x,y, and z happened, then I would take that as a sign that that is what I am supposed to do. And so far I have x and y. I don’t know if this is the proper way to make pacts with God but it was the closest thing I could get to a message appearing on the steamy bathroom mirror. At the end of the day I just want to be obedient and I want my life to follow the plan it is supposed to. And while I figure that out, I will continue to be patient.

13 comments:

Miss Mooney said...

You're doing the best thing by being patient. Stand strong in your faith and trust that God will guide you. Be still. I know that it's hard because you want answers but they won't come easy because you're expecting them to. You have to truly believe in, "let go, let God".

Tate said...

Why don't you try something new? Volunteer work is always a win-win, with voting starting in less than a month (absentee), why don't you get people signed up for voting? After the Olympics, this is a huge time in history. Obama/Biden 2008!

Shinks said...

Hey Brianna,
Your comment on my blog the other day, reminded me that I hadn't checked yours out in a while, my bad.
But I know exactly what your going through. Its been 2 years since I decided I'd had enough & I still don't feel I have my new path figured out. Am sure your not happy to hear that. But track just consumes so much of your life, that it takes time to figure out who you are without it. As you can see I got pulled back into to it slightly this year, but I think this is because I have not yet found something that replaces the rush, excitement adrenaline or passion that track gave. But now my plan is to try and remember back to the things that I was interested in or curious about before track took over my world and just start to explore them a little.
Its a rough journey and its hard to let go, especially when you feel you didn't reach your true potential. I struggle with this constantly. But you'll get there. And you may get there much quicker than me!
Best of luck.

TR400 said...

Hey its Tyrone. I had to hunt down your personal blog as you have not been on track shark for awhile. Your blogs here are incredible by the way. But as far as this blog goes i believe your taking all of the right steps. Preparing a resume, stepping away from track doing other things, and letting GOD handle bigger issues. Dont look for a reason or an answer he will definitely guide you. I always admired people like yourself and friends of mine who ran professionally. Going to graduate school and working while running made me envious of not being able to trainin full time and do what i really love, but not of the running "after life". I have helped a lot of friends make this transition since i have and continue to work and train. You will clearly be a success in any endeavor you choose.

Less is more,
Tyrone

Anonymous said...

why are x, y, and z secret? i'm curious what you're expecting to spontaneously happen to give you an indication of which direction your life should go.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Glenn,
I am going to ask, in a truly honest fashion. No “smart-a**” intent at all. Really.
Is this post just about what’s in your heart and soul, that is, just a public expression of feelings you are having?
Or is it an “open” question? Awaiting (sincere) response?
I ask, because there is no more critical question than about our purpose of life, a question sometimes with unsettling answers.
Just asking.
Daniel

Brianna said...

@miss mooney...sound advice.

@tate...i always do some volunteer stuff. but i still have to find a way to eat and have a roof over my head. that stuff is a little important

@shinks...i know you can relate.

@tyrone...you might be good resume help now that i think about it.

@anonymous...x, y, and z are secret so i have something to blog about next week.

@daniel...just an expression of my feelings. i am not asking all the strangers to figure out my future and my purpose in life all on their own.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing wrong with seeking clarification from GOD. Below is a link to a story of Gideon in the bible. He asked GOD in the same manner. If this happens than I know this is suppose to happen. If this other thing happens than I know I am suppose to do this other thing. GOD speaks to us daily, the problem we have is we aren’t tune to his voice. It could be a passing word from a total stranger, a little voice that echoes in the back of your head, or something as simple as a billboard. Unlike Bruce or Evan, if GOD came to you and said Bri, I want you to do this, you would freak out, seriously, loony bin freak out!!! First seek God totally, and GOD will reveal to you his plan for your life…

Good Luck,
From the Nations Capital

http://www.growingchristians.org/dfgc/fleeces.htm

Anonymous said...

Bri ...

What's your passion? What do you like? If you have clear answers to those questions, then you might want to think about what you can do to pursue those passions and interests.

Do you still burn inside for track and field? If so, can continue with that?

Could you do something related to track and field? What about commentating? You have the skills for that. Coaching? How many people have your experience? Not many.

I would go back to the book idea. You have a passion for writing ... write a book. Yours is a great story.

Peter

tr400 said...

if you want any help with your resume let me know.

Less is more,
Tyrone

Andre Rafik said...

you know what, i find a lot of similarities in what you say about track and what i say about the music biz. right now im in a place where i think i should do something else but something or someone (mainly dwight) wont let me. Luckily it pays the bills...

Anonymous said...

THERE'S AGREAT MOVIE CALLED "WHAT THE BLEEP DO WE KNOW" GET IT ALSO A GREAT BOOK BY GARY ZUKOV CALLED "THE SEAT OF THE SOUL" READ IT--THERE'S ALOT YOU CAN DO WHILE YOU WAIT FOR YOUR MOMENT OF CLARITY--YOU GOT SOME RESUME'S TO WRITE--HAVE YOU STARTED ON THEM--WHAT ABOUT COACHING AND CONT. UR EDUCATION?--WHAT ABOUT VEGAS AND WORKING AS A INTERNATIONAL CASINO HOST!---YOUR OPTIONS ARE LIMITLESS--GOD KNOWS IT--HE IS WAITING FOR YOU YOU TO BELIEVE IT!--JOE P. IN VEGAS SOMETIMES IN D.C.

Anonymous said...

I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO YOU!

YOU HAVE JUST NOT BEEN LISTENING!

GOD
(aka Medoblado)