This week marks the beginning of me not being a complete lump on a log. I have started doing civilian workouts, at a civilian gym no less. This of course presents a problem because I do have an aversion at these types of establishments. People talk too darn much and I see them peeking out of the corner of their eye either wondering what it is I do or chuckling why I’m breathing so hard after jogging for 10 minutes. Whatever the case, it’s the one spot I do not like attention. I wear pants and I never take off my shirt under any circumstances. But the other day I did catch someone copying my abs workout. They tried to be inconspicuous but I’m pretty sure there are few people in this world who would just happen to do the same exercises I do. So much for blending in…
I NEED MEAT
This weekend was the time for BBQ’s and anybody who knows me knows that I like to eat. I especially like to eat meat cooked on a grill. So why did someone have the audacity to throw a BBQ and not grill any meat?! We show up to some chips and dip, a few chicken wings, and beverages. Who wants a BBQ with no meat? The whole point is to be a reckless carnivore. Needless to say, we didn’t stick around long.
We have a phenomena here in the U.S. that says what you pay for a meal will be inversely proportionate to the size of that meal. Last week I was at cheesecake factory and listened amusingly as two girls from England about fell out of their chairs by the size of their meals. Both ordered an appetizer a piece AND entrees. Everyone knows you can feed at least 3 people with one entrée from Cheesecake. Then, on Friday a friend and I were treated to an extra special dinner at a fine dining establishment prepared especially just for us by the chef. Luckily it included numerous courses because each one on their own would be about enough to feed a rabbit. I think they also like to literally include a bit of rabbit food on top of each dish…just random green stuff thrown on top for no apparent reason. Does anybody actually eat that stuff?! As good as the presentation was, and considering how delicious it tasted, I still will never understand how they get away with charging so much and giving you so little.
I had an appointment today at the Apple Store because my computer power source decided to suddenly stop working. Obviously this a catastrophe of immense proportions and I was forced to find the first available appointment in southern California. Unfortunately for me I arrived late and then proceeded to park as far away as possible from my destination. It literally took me almost 20 minutes to walk to where I was trying to go. So…I was late and they had cancelled my appointment. I was then informed that there were no more spots available that day and I would have to reschedule. Of course this was not an option. This is where the damsel in distress kicks in. Unfortunately, this is not something that will work unless you are a damsel so I’m not exactly sure what men do in these situations. Any time you need something to be done and could use a little extra assistance from anyone with an XY chromosome, it is beneficial that you know the power you possess as a woman. This works best when you pretend like you are unaware that you yield such power of course. Needless to say, I was reinstated on the list and seen by the next available genius. Wait time = 30 seconds.