addiction.

I think I may have a problem. I never really considered myself to be the “addict” type, mainly because I’m a control freak and my will power is pretty amazing, but I am beginning to see my shortcomings. I have recently noticed that I actually need coffee. I never used to drink it regularly until I spent my summers in Europe, namely Italy. If you’ve never had a cappuccino from Italy you might actually think that the one from Starbucks is good. It really doesn’t compare. But in Italy I used to go to the café, sit outside, and sip my cappuccino like a local. I wanted to fit in and this was one way I knew how to do it. When I spent time in Greece with a friend of mine, we would always “go for coffee” in the afternoon. The coffee itself wasn’t as important, it was merely a way to socialize with friends and gossip and I liked that. So coffee became part of my daily routine and once I came back to the states I figured I’d buy myself my own contraption and continue the tradition. I’d have my morning cup or I’d meet up for social hour at some part of the day. It wasn’t something I had to have…if I was running late or ran out it was no biggie and I simply went about my day sans coffee. But those days are no longer. I skip coffee now and by the afternoon I have a headache. It took me a while to connect the two because there was no way I could see my body actually being addicted to something. Not me. But alas, one iced latte later and the headache disappears.

But this pales in comparison to the addiction I have with my blackberry. Last Friday I left Boston without my most important possession and I simply didn’t know what to do with myself. Luckily it was not lost or stolen, as I had feared. I checked frantically at each spot I had been to at the airport. Check in desk…. security…bathroom…newsstand…starbucks…no dice. I called the phone and it was turned off. I just knew that it was gone forever and I was going to have to fly home and sell my left kidney so that I could purchase a new one. I spent the whole six-hour flight home in despair, not able to sleep a wink despite being exhausted beyond measure. But when I arrived home and looked up the number to the car service I had used as a last ditch attempt to locate it, I reaffirmed to myself that there really is a God. They had my phone and they would mail it to me…Monday. God has a good sense of humor I suppose since it was Friday. So I have spent the last four days sans blackberry and have felt like a part of myself was missing. I’m not that important, I don’t live a busy and exciting life, I don’t even like to talk on the phone, but I still felt like I was missing out on anything and everything of importance. I would leave the house and feel like I forgot to put on my pants or something.

But all is right now in my world. I have my blackberry back in my possession and a full bag of coffee in the cupboard. Life is good.