Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Speechless???

I know you probably thought I would have a whole lot to say these last couple of days...but I don't. Actually I think it's a case of having too many thoughts in my brain that they all get jumbled up and I have trouble forming any type of coherent message. I have started a couple of blogs...and then stopped. It's kind of like emotion overload...I feel so much that I almost don't feel anything at all. It's not in a bad way necessarily but I am trying not to overanalyze everything and create this immense pressure for myself because of how much tomorrow means to me. I want to embrace it and be totally in the moment and while it is most definitely a defining moment in my life, I don't want it to define me. I don't know if that makes so much sense but it's as if I have worked so hard for this and put my everything into it that I really want that to mean something...the process of it all. That doesn't make the outcome any less important of course. Anyway, I am in the process of formulating a better thought process to it all and actually putting words to it but in the meantime I just wanted to say hello and continue to thank you for all of your messages and prayers. I have a bit of recovery work to do today and some video to watch but after that I plan on spending some quiet time with my thoughts and if you're lucky they will make it to the blog some time later today!

These last two days are rest days so the athletes aren't doing much except hanging out and trying not to go stir crazy. Eugene is not the hotspot for many types of entertainment so there really isn't much to do. Yesterday we all attended this seminar that taught us about the customs and greetings in China and I went to the movies. Overall an exciting day!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

miss bri-

believe me, i much more enjoy posting smart-ass, rude comments about your spending, feet etc. on here, but this is for real.

you're thinking about this too much. of course, you'll do what works for you, but i would argue that stewing in your nervousness until you're "speechless" isn't the way to look at this track meet. this most recent post resonates a negative vibe and overwhelming nerves.

treat this week like you should every other meet- you just want to win. period. this isn't a meet that will define you whether you win or lose. surely, the outcome is important; the outcome of every competition is important to those of us who hate losing.

get your mind right for this meet- its not "the meet" its "a meet" and its no different than any other inasmuch as you expect to win it. wake up tomorrow expecting to win this meet, and get to the track and perform as if you expect to win it. you know what winning feels like and you need to get your mind aligned with that winning mentality.

just a suggetsion, but you're a winner and you're making more out of "winning" than you need to. stop acting like winning is a novel concept to you- just win. jump far, go forth and do what you should- win. good luck.

anonymousnupe said...

Ok, who's using Anonymous's moniker and trying to ruin his reputation as a big jerk? Come on. Fess up.

What movie, Bri? Angelina Jolie, I bet. I hear they have nice, uh, trees in Oregon. Is it true you can drive through some of them? And hey, maybe in your free time you'll capture the only real video footage of a Sasquatch. Or maybe he or she will even come home with you! Then it really would be a Fabulous Life!

melanie said...

somehow i wonder if you went with wall-e instead ;o)
xoxo
i'll call you later.
and by the way, your best friend bianca called me at 4 in the morning from greece today to check and see how you were...i think she was afraid to call you directly. must have mistaken you for kofi anon or somebody ;o)

Beth said...

Hey Brianna,

I'm the volunteer massage therapist who worked on you at the trials on Monday night. I'm being a complete dork and googling the athletes I've worked on at the trials. I've lived in Eugene for 12 years now, and prior to moving here, I never had any exposure to track and field other than watching the Olympics on TV.

However, once I went to my first Prefontaine Classic, I was entranced. I got to see Michael Johnson and Maurice Green battle it out...watched Hicham El Guerrouj joyfully help Alan Webb set the record for the high school mile...OMG, Marion Jones' smile lit up the entire field. It's one thing to watch world class athletes compete on TV and an entirely different thing to see them in person. I was blown away, inspired, awed and humbled. Each victory brought tears to my eyes...all that dedication, skill, tenacity, etc coming together for that one perfect moment. Simply amazing to behold and share. I relished being lucky enough to see people like Maria Mutola...when she lived here in Eugene...just out running some days.

But, once I had a child 5 years ago, my ability to keep track of the who's who in track and field diminished...along with my short-term memory. LOL. When I heard there was a chance to do volunteer massage on the athletes at the Trials, I jumped at the chance immediately. So here I am, commenting on your blog, and I hope it's ok. Sorry for the hodge podge of topics and length, but I read a few of your past entries and one in particular caught my attention. Diversity Training. Ahhh, the thing that's made Eugene look like complete and utter slack-jawed idiots. Our finest moment out there for the national to hear about and comment upon.

As a volunteer, I went to the "Volunteer Orientation" with excitement about being able to share in this amazing event. That excitement quickly dropped off when the portion of the training now being called "diversity training" started. I don't even remember what they called it at the time, but it wasn't diversity training. Even so, as we watched the ridiculous training videos...listened to the expert panel (including people of various hues) explain how to behave at the Trials, I became increasingly irate. I was outraged at the assumption that since Eugene is so completely mighty white (no denying that), we somehow lacked the capacity to treat athletes and visitors with dignity and respect.

I went home that night uncertain I would even volunteer if I was going to be treated in such a way. Regardless of the fact that my family once lived in St. Louis and was the only white family for blocks around...that I have traveled the world outside of tiny Eugene...I am a human being fully capable of interacting with other people in a meaningful manner. How dare they assume I don't know that not all black people are athletes? I don't know that all Asian people aren't Chinese and won't all want to eat at Chinese restaurants? That night, I RAGED at my poor husband until his eyes were glassy. But I assumed it was just me being uptight. Later, I saw that the national news had picked up on the training, and now people across the country were wondering what kind of fools lived in Eugene.

I have a B.A. in Anthropology, and the term "race" is kind of a hot button issue for me. For anthropologists, "race" implies that there's a biological difference between people. Any time that word gets used (outside track and field, of course :-) ), it makes me cringe. I don't know that the anthropological use of the term "ethnicity" when discussing differences in cultures is any better, but at least it removes the concept of biological differences from the table.

Brianna, all this just makes me heartsick cause I can guarantee you (and all the athletes at the Trials) that every volunteer is here to help you all do the best you can, and make sure things go smoothly for you and your support staff/family/friends. I may be blathering, but it's only out of concern that Eugene does not get judged based on misplaced but well-intentioned actions of the local organizers. I know I'm some pasty white chick from some dinky hippie NW town, but I swear we are not all idiots.

You looked great the other night when I worked on you. No knots, good range of motion, muscles are getting good hydration/oxygen and felt fluid(despite all the heat, pollen, and smoke in the air). You will ROCK on Thursday, and I'll be in the stands cheering you on. Take care, Beth

Anonymous said...
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Brianna said...

@anonymous...I think how i wrote it may have come off wrong. i am not "speechless" in that context...i more meant speechless for what to write a blog about. but the rest of your post did have some good concepts. thanks--this time.

@nupe...you are right. jolie it was. although the movie had a tad more blood and guts then i was ready for.

@beth...how cool you found my blog! thank you so much for your message. i am glad you (and I'm sure many other volunteers) felt the same way about the diversity training as the athletes did. it wasn't necessary at all and offensive to both groups. But I will say that we all feel that the people in eugene have been great and we appreciate SO MUCH all of the volunteers who have helped out. everyone you meet here is a genuinely nice and respectful person, and it's safe to say that i'm sure that is not because of any "training" they may have had. you all have done a wonderful job and have made this meet spectacular and we thank you for it. all of us who have had encounters with the volunteers here will judge the city based on that, and not by the silliness we read about. and thanks for the great massage!!!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Oscar said...

get your rest so you can jump over the pit. stay cool, calm, collected and you will do great.

ok, bear with me for sec. the trials, regardless of the outcome you have achieved something that only few achieve. the trials are definitely a defining moment in your professional career but the outcome tomorrow will not define you.

you have defined yourself already through the words of your blog. brianna glenn is an inspiration to many, smart, funny, loyal, caring, I can go on for a minute but I won't. you are a strong woman, a woman of faith and you are down to earth and human. Sometimes we civilians put athletes on a different plane and don't see that athlete face the same issues as everyone else.

where was I, oh yeah...you have already defined yourself and I got that from reading your blog for the last couple of months. anyways...god bless, you bound for beijing olympian.

Brianna said...

@ anonymous...I prefer to make my own judgements about my comments. thanks.

Jasmine said...

Eat at Bri's...

...Dust Served Daily


I LOVE YOU!!!