Across the Atlantic

I’m in Europe right now. Crazy…I know. Someone forgot to tell me that moping around and being depressed doesn’t pay the bills. And as much as I am on bitter terms with my career right now, it happens to be the only job I have for the immediate future. This is what my agent quickly reminded me of when I tried to get out of the few meets I had lined up for after Trials. It was also his way of making sure I didn’t make any rash decisions about my future. He thought he was being sneaky but I saw right through it! It is probably for the best though because if I hadn’t gotten on the plane I would be somewhere in the Caribbean right now changing my name to Stella and surviving off of drinks that have little umbrellas as my sole source of nutrition.

I also find that it is easier to be around other athletes right now. The truth of the matter is there really are only 3 people per event that had the Trials turn out as they’d hoped for and are ecstatic about the outcome. That leaves a whole lot of other folks feeling a bit down in the dumps and misery loves company. Nobody is looking at me feeling sorry and not knowing what they should really say because they are too busy feeling sorry for themselves! Not that I don’t appreciate all the support and compassion that I have received during this last week…I truly do. But it took me a good four days to even listen to my voicemail messages and even then I didn’t really call anybody back. (sorry for that!)

So here I am back at work for the next couple of weeks. I could not commit to any longer but for right now it was the best decision. I’m not that caught up in the competitions themselves and I’d be lying if I said I felt extremely motivated about running right now but it is nice to go and compete without any pressure. I haven’t run a race all season so it definitely could be interesting. I will keep you updated….maybe.