Well, to be honest for the last 48 hours I was fine with beginning nowhere. I was quite numb, actually. I didn't talk to anyone nor did I plan on blogging what I considered to be a huge failure on my end. For me, this was probably the biggest letdown of my career, simply because I believed it was virtually impossible for me not to do well. So, basically I'm saying that there just isn't much to say, and I have no excuses. I know better than anyone how mentally and physically ready I was. (or thought I was?) I read my last post and I feel certain I meant it. All that was left to do was go out and let it happen, yet somehow I got in the way of that.
Putting your heart and soul into something and coming up short is heartbreaking. I care so much about what I do, and while on one hand I love the fact that I'm doing something that requires me to give my all and pour so much emotion into getting it right, it leaves me vulnerable to a lot of disappointment and heartache. It's a gamble of sorts, and this time I wound up on the losing end with no one to blame but myself.
Of course this setback will leave it's mark on this season, and it's definitely going to overshadow a lot of other good things that have happened this year. But the season isn't over for me just yet, and the only thing left to do with this experience is learn from it. If it's in my power to fix it and do something so that it doesn't happen again, then that's what I want to figure out.
15 comments:
I don't know there is something about these big pressure meets that doesn't allow you to be relaxed and comfortable. Now that there is no more pressure go ahead and buts 7m, after 7m, after 7m. Oh don't forget to enjoy the cities even if you've been there before.
The mark of a true champion is found not in victory but in humility during defeat. There are so many cheering, hurting, crying with you. While some cheer most loudly from the bleachers and within your personal circle, other cheer and support you while remaining silent behind the scene.
You are a people's champion and while winning the battle's are important, we are mostly focused on your journey which in total speaks to the war.
I have watched you, grow, stumble, pick yourself up, fly, fail, soar. When looking at the totality of your life, your's is an odyssey, a fable of lore and conquest. And in the end,you will be known as Champion and we that know or have known you from close or far will be proud to say you are our's.
Keep your head up. Only true learning come in defeat. YOU WILL BE VICTORIOUS IN LONDON 2012!
@anonymous2... i appreciate your opinion and there certainly is nobody who believes i need to be more consistent more than me, but I don't think I would say that is the case concerning Nationals, considering I've had my best meet (including personal bests) at nationals the last 2 years, plus indoor nationals. this year would be a departure from that if anything.
@anonymous... thank you for sharing. it means a lot and it encourages me to continue sharing my story with y'all. :)
I can't believe I'm the fourth person to comment?! I just spoke with you!
Well, since Anonymous stole my first comment section, I will say that I love you and proud of you no matter what.
Don't forget that you are still a profession and you would have lastest this long in the sport if you weren't.
Love you!
I know this doesn't matter, but you had the cutest outfit and the best hair. Just sayin...
Bri, your journeys, struggles, great moments, all have become a part of my life as I live it with you. The emotions! The highs and lows, the perseverance, your trust in God for all things, whether you are giving him praise for the blessings or leaning on him to heal your heart and provide, the sharing of your life on so many different levels with those who love you up close and those that love you from afar, it's added something very special to my life, and I believe to others as well. The way we touch others, that's what's important, and you do that in an extraordinary way. I'm very proud of you. I pray that God blesses you beyond measure this summer on this 'alternative' journey. Love you, MOM.
Noted..Good luck on the Euro tour. I'll be following and watching. I haven't seen any vids of nationals in the NYAC uniform, but I know how there uniforms are. I hope you were able to tweak it a little.
Oh, I just see where Jasmine said you had the cutest outfit. Now I have to dig around the net to find it.
Unfortunately, you chose a sport which the difference between being that days "winner" and that days "loser" is millimeters, and inches.
If I'm not mistaken the difference between you making the team and not making the team is about 1" inch.
For those measurement challenged...1" inch is this big (in between the lines):
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You run down a runway about maybe 30 yards, have to hit a board just in the right place, not going over, manipulate your body in the air to sail as far as it can (22 or 23 feet or so), and then stick the landing in just the right way.
And after doing all this, your fate is determined by the distance in between the lines above.
So, take it in stride, for whatever reason God has it, not being your destiny this year. There is always a reason, a purpose, and sometimes we don't always know "why".
And yes, you have stepped up to the plate in big meets in the past, and to be frank, you stepped up to the plate again this year.
I think you did a good job. The result was not what you wanted but the performance was good enough to reach the desired outcome.
So, whatever, have fun in Europe. You've already had a great year so anything from here on out is just Gravy.
Good job. You did win.
BG
And another way to look at it......
Think about all the millions of girls in the USA in High School - College - and Pro's.
You are the 5'th best in all of the United States from millions and millions who every day try to be like you.
That's a pretty awesome thing that very few can say. Amazing!
Hang in there! All of this will make that London 2012 medal SOOOOO sweet!
Brianna,
I feel for you, I've experienced similar inopportune events in my past track career that left me wondering whether I had any power to succeed or whether I was just a puppet allowed to excel when a higher power wanted me to. Then when I least expected to, I somehow would "bust" out a PR most effortlessly, adding to my confusion. I think command of great performances comes down to things you already know - perform with joy, forget the stress and importance of the meet, and most importantly TRUST that your preparation/base will see you through. You've done the work, all you need to focus on is execution of technique. Mentally, put yourself in a frame of mind when you were most recently invincible and felt most confident, and believe that you can only do well. My 2 cents. Good luck ma'am you will prevail with all the positive energy from your fans.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us ... and doing it so eloquently. What goes around, comes around. Your moment will come (again). Don't doubt yourself or the journey. You have character, and character ALWAYS prevails in the long run and on the biggest stages. Don't change. You are the PERFECT role model for any young person, athlete or not ... including my daughter!
I have waited until now to post as I wanted to review what others have had to say and I do agree with many of the above postings. I have not seen any pictures or video of the "new look or uniform" so I cannot comment on that.
Since this is about the current situation and where you are at now, I will simply offer you some encouragement and advice. You are still competing and there is a lot more to deal with and accomplish down the road. Do not forget: You can always make lemonade out of a lemon! Good luck, take care.
There are a lot of photo's of the Znamensky Memorial meet on their website but still none of you in the new uniform. I think the only way we are going to see it is when you put it out there.
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