Monday, December 28, 2009


Have you ever been in one of those relationships where the other person expects you to update them of your plans every second of every day? You’re constantly calling to check in and let them know what’s going on, and if plans change you better let them know that as well, lest they freak out on you and start becoming suspicious! Being the independent, free spirit that I am, I tend to avoid relationships like that at all costs. If you call to see what I’m doing just to be nosey, or ring my house phone at 9pm to see if I answer it, I’ll ignore it at continue watching Grey’s Anatomy in my PJ’s. Just on principal. But being a professional athlete, I am also obligated to put myself in that type of relationship as long as I want to be in this sport. The United States Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) is my clingy, needy, dependent boyfriend and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

I just spent the last hour or so of my life completing an online tutorial to ensure that I am updated and aware of all the changes made to our testing procedures for the upcoming year. Not only did I watch the tutorial, I completed multiple games of Hangman and Jeopardy at the end of each module to make sure I was absorbing all the pertinent information. Hangman at this age? Whatever it takes, I guess. These people know that if they just ask nicely for us to read and process the information on our own, it may or may not get done. But forcing us to input the right answer before the left arm is drawn, at least ensures we put in a little effort.

After that fun-filled start to my morning, I proceeded to fill in what I will be doing at every waking hour from the start of the year til March 31st. Do you know what you will be doing on February 11th at 8 am in the morning? You might have a good idea, but I am contractually obligated to be where I say I’m going to be and be ready to hand over urine and blood on demand. And if I say on December 27th that I will be at home sipping my coffee looking over my Facebook status updates, I better be there. If I decide I would rather sip my coffee at Starbucks, I must pass that information along to the powers that be…or else. The only time they don’t want to know where I’m at is between 11pm and 6am. I suppose that’s a tad better than that one guy I dated in college who drove to my apartment at 1am to see if my car was there when I didn’t answer my phone.

At the end of the day though, we accept this relationship willingly and gladly. Sure, it’s a tad bit annoying and difficult to remember at all times that there is someone out there that needs to know your every move. But it will never be more bothersome than the people who chose to be cheaters. I loathe them far more than I could any clingy boyfriend.


Robert Parker said...

Please continue to write your blogs. I'm a guy and I've been in that same situation with an ex-girlfriend. The blogs have been so inspiring I've known started writing blogs on health and fitness. Have a bless New Year and good luck in the coming season.

Dexter said...

Hey Bri,

Speaking of the clingy boy or girlfriend, have you ever had a random test on Christmas Eve morning?

What you said in your blog about "being there or else" struck a nerve. I forgot to tell the "clingy girlfriend" that the family was going to another family members for Christmas dinner. Missed me by a day. Whew!

Dust said...

Wow! This topic explains why so many black women are single. Why does a guy have to be clingy or needy? Maybe he really cares about you. In this day and age is it really hard to shoot your man a text and say I'm going here or change of plans I'll be here. Is that really too much to ask?

I would hate for something to happen to my girl (car accident, murdered, or anything) the police question me and they surprise me and tell me my girl was on the other side of town & I'm thinking she is supposed to be somewhere else. Now I'm a suspect and heart broken at the same time. Please watch any episode of CSI or Law & Order to see how it all plays out.

Back to the issue at hand, the USADA has the best testing policy in the world and it seems to be working. I can understand why some guys play USADA in relationships. These women are slick and guys can't win for losing. Were called clingy and needed when we try and communicate about our whereabouts. If playing USADA can save a guy from investing months of his time into a girl that could possibly be playing him, I say more power to him.

On a side note if Ms. Woods would have kept better tabs on Tiger the jump-off number would possibly be lower.

Brianna said...

@robert...thanks. i appreciate you reading htem.

@dexter...not xmas eve yet! i think the testers like their holidays as well. :)

@dust...please understand that there is a difference between someone who is genuinely interested and someone who is nosey and just wants to keep you on a short leash. you can always tell the difference. and NO, this is not the reason black women are single. if you'd like me to write a blog about THAT, i will.

Dust said...

Please explain the difference between someone who is genuinely interested and someone who is nosey. I'm confused on this one. As a man, I would like to know where my girl is at....Please blog about the reason black women are single. I saw the special on nightline and they were not keeping real! If you haven't seen it check it out, I emailed it to you.

Nikkie T said...

Bri- you are too funny. I love the comparison btw the USADA and the clingy boyfriend- hilarious.

Dust- you're funny too. You remind me of a clingy boyfriend and this is just a blog- Ha! I kid. I kid.

#2 Fan said...

Bri's simpy the best blogger alive! LMAO :-)

Brianna said... are not the first guy to send me that special...i will address it shortly. on the other just know. if you show up at my house unannounced to "check", it's the latter.


@#2...thank you for finding it funny! made me chuckle a little too. :)

Grace said...

This was a gem. I love the analogy. Only you, Bri!!! Look! I'm posting again!!

Reggie said...

@ Dust

You say: "This topic explains why so many black women are single"

Looks like you have had too much punch this holiday season....LMAO @ you!

Just curious Dust....are you trying to say that black girls are cheaters and if their men would keep better track of them they would be married?

So does that then mean that white girls are not cheaters and their white BF's do keep track of them?

Or are you just saying that your constipated from too much turkey?


Dust said...

Bri the blog is almost finished, but here is a little sample

@ Reggie

One of the reasons black women are single is their state of mind. The boyfriend that might care too much about his girls whereabouts is called clingy. (showing up @ your place I consider stalking not clingy) Anyway a black woman would rather have the guy that doesn't care where she is at and pays her very little attention. They tend to like the drama. The clingy guy while annoying his motives are from the heart and he truly cares. She doesn't see it that way.

Yes some black women are cheaters. If her man doesn't know where she is at, some other dude does! If she changes the way she thinks and her attitude yes she would be married.

White women are cheaters too, but they are not the ones with a 42% never been married rate amongst the gender.

What I'm saying is you can't teach the teacher. If you pay attention you might learn something to pass along to these women so we can lower that 42%.

Rob said...

How does this actually work? I mean it is impossible to know where you will be three months ahead. I'm not only talking about you but professional athletes in general. A tennis player doesnt know if he will be eliminated in the first round of make it into the final, so he wont know if he'll be in Wimbledon (or wherever) for 2 days or 2 weeks. And there are so many things that can screw up your plans. Planes get delayed, weather is unpredictable, trains break down, injuries, personal problems, the list of things that can change your plans is endless.
So what do you do if your plans change? If you miss your plane do you have to logon right away to tell them about it? If you break a leg do you have to tell them before getting into the ambulance?