That hand up there is mine... my left one to be exact. And that big rock you see? It’s on my ring finger. But before I start getting freaked out messages from my mother, I want to assure all of you that there is no breaking news…quite the contrary, actually. These days I seem to be a little disappointed in men, at least the ones in my life. In these instances I usually do one of two things – I grab attention from men in general just because it’s fun and makes me feel desirable, or I want zero attention from all parts of the male species. Right now it happens to be the latter.
If I had my way I would have spent the weekend consuming pints of Ben and Jerry while watching The Notebook on repeat, but instead I was convinced to spend some quality time with folks in Phoenix. I actually had a good time and enjoyed myself but being that it was also All-Star weekend and I was forced to be social out and about and go to the game and everything, I felt like I needed an extra barrier between myself and the vultures that descend upon the city any time an event like that takes place. The last thing I wanted to deal with was pickup line after corny pickup line from every Joe, Mo, and Larry I came across. So while we were walking around the mall Saturday afternoon, I saw this little sparkler at Nordstrom’s and I decided that I would be engaged for the weekend. Now I know any self-respecting woman would have been able to tell in an instant that this cubic zirconia was far from the real deal, but it flashes nicely and does the job at a quick glance.
Now I know that honesty is the best policy and yadda, yadda, yadda. But this weekend I just didn’t have time for that. I didn’t want to explain that whatever you are trying to sell, I’m just not interested in buying. So I flashed my ring instead. And it was great. So much easier than only having a boyfriend and still explaining that that also means I’m not in the market for new “friends”. Whatever. I’m a fake. I’ll own it for now.