Rome wasn't built in a day

Today I was a bit of a head case. And I’m only admitting it because I want to recognize it and move past it. I suppose it was a case of anxiety, brought on by the fact that I have only a few practices left before my first competition in the long jump. On it’s own it may not seem like a big deal. After all, this is my profession, something I’ve done for the last umpteen years and I am no stranger to first meets of the season. But most of you should know the struggles I went through this past year, with surgery on my knee and the subsequent problems I had with it once I begun training again this year. The recommendation was to have another surgery because it just didn’t seem like the knee would hold up with the pounding that long jumping involves. My own plan was slightly different. I would just switch takeoff legs. Problem solved. No more pounding and a season saved.

So perhaps you might understand the slight apprehension I am experiencing as the date looms near to actually test out this bright idea of mine. Switching takeoff legs is akin to trying to sign your name with the opposite hand. It’s just not natural, at least not for most people. Luckily for me, the switch has been easier than I imagined it would. I didn’t even think I would be able to attempt an indoor meet and yet here I am. On top of that, I have also had to incorporate a totally different jumping style to accommodate my bum shoulder as well. It’s been a challenge to say the least but I feel as if at the end of the day I feel like what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. So I’ve embraced my challenges and have been looking forward to being a brand new, more efficient, left leg jumper. Well…until today, that is. Today, when I tried actually doing my entire jump for the first time I wasn’t so pleased with the results. It wasn’t terrible, it just wasn’t great. Why did I think it would be? I’m not sure. So I got pretty down on myself and had a little pity party for one. I am a perfectionist to a fault and I want everything to be just where I want it right now! Is it ridiculous for me to even have such high expectations at the end of January, considering what I’ve been through? Yea, probably. But for some reason it took me hours of reflection after my training session, a session with my shrink, and a conversation with my coach to come to that conclusion.

But I am better now. I am back to focusing on the process of what I am doing and to looking at the big picture of what I am trying to accomplish. I know it’s going to take time but I know that I have the goods. Each day is just another piece of the puzzle and you might not be able to see what the picture looks like yet, but I am going to keep adding the pieces until it comes together.