Thursday, November 20, 2008


I was talking to one of my good friends the other day as she was preparing to head out on a date. And not just any date…a first date. Totally unique and distinctive from all other categories of dates, it requires a different kind of preparation and mindset. So being the great girlfriends that we are, we prepared together. In case you are unaware, I am the dating guru. How can this be?, you ask, since you constantly read about my uninspiring dating experiences and are woefully aware of my status as an unmarried spinster. Well I suppose it’s because I have experience. Not necessarily the most or the best, but experience nonetheless. And she…does not. Not because she isn’t absolutely amazing, because she’s more than fabulous. She just doesn’t waste her time, as I sometimes seem to do.

So during the course of conversations, as I was explaining to her what to do and how to do it, I said that whenever she was unsure about which course of action to take, she should simply think to herself, WWBD. I realize this probably borders on being sacrilegious and I am hoping that Jesus is not too offended that I would borrow his phrase and use it in this context. But I do believe in following certain protocols on first dates and if you ever find yourself on a first date wondering what you should do in a certain situation, perhaps you might find yourself asking what Brianna would do too.

Some examples:

-Don’t Pay: Don’t even do the complimentary reach. Not for the tip, not for popcorn, not for anything. He asked to take you out, so let him. This is his time to wine and dine you, you can be a 21st century feminist at a later date.

-Don’t pick the date spot: Guys are lazy enough as it is. Make sure you have them show they’re willing to put in a little effort. It’s fine if they get your approval, but none of this …so whadda ya wanna do???

-Order a real meal: no side salads and hold the dressing. I have no idea if this is annoying to men, but it’s annoying to me.

-No hanging out before going on a real date: If you meet someone, just make sure you go on a real date first. Don’t hang out and have a Blockbuster night. It’s the whole laziness thing.

-Look like yourself: Don’t go too far out of your way to look so fabulous that any time after that will seem like a letdown. And don’t not put in any effort thinking your inner beauty will shine through. It’s the first date…he can’t see all that yet. Obviously look good, but everything in moderation.

-Go Home: preferably at a very reasonable hour and definitely by yourself.

-Don’t kiss: …or do. I have no set rule on this one.

So what do you think? Did I miss any important ones?


Coach said...

Don't scope out other dudes while you are on the date. Thats disrespectful to that guy.

Dana said...

I think you covered all of the DON'Ts nicely. I think one important DO that goes along with "Look like yourself" is BE YOURSELF. Of course when on a first date, you both might be a little nervous, but don't create a new persona to try to impress your date...especially if you can't keep those impressions up long term.

Andre Rafik said...

Why all the dos and donts? It Kind of feels like rules and restrictions. How about we just go out and see what happens? I agree the man should pay the first several times out but I dont agree with the woman expecting to not pay. But like Chris Rock said, something about a woman paying just dries the p£$@y up and we dont want that. Bu then I've had a couple of girls "take ME out" on my birthday but amazingly expected me to pay. The whole man paying on the first date because he asked you out is ironic and insidious. The only thing i want out of a "date" is for the girl to be herself.

Bianca said...

I agree on all of them! I don't FULLY agree on not putting your best foot forward in clothing and cleanliness. I say look fabulous 24/7!!! I'm running errands in heels... and working it.

brit_brat said...

haha Bianca you are too much!

I would like to add DON'T allow him to take you to a club for a first date. taking you to a nosey, crowed club only means he's really not that interested in talking and getting to know you but more likely to get some drinks in you and grind up on your backside. avoid clubs on first dates!

Anonymous said...


I have being checkout your blog since I saw you in SI. God you look good. But looks can be deceiving. LOL
It seems like a guy is starting of in a hole when he takes you out on a first date, and he has to work his way out. How can a guy make a good imperssion when he is fight an up hill battle?

Dating is suppose to be fun not psychological warfare. Yes it may not work out but at least go with an open mind. Rather than the "art of dating" war manual.

Brianna said...

@ coach...good one!

@ dana... yes, very important to not give the representative!

@ andre... maybe we need to define a date. i can hang out with my friends all day every day and pay all the time. no problem. if YOU ask ME out, for the first time no less, there is nothing ironic or insidious about ME expecting YOU to pay. if you are asking simply for the honor of spending time with me, take me on a picnic and don't worry about paying. there is nothing wrong with expecting men to be gentlemen IMHO.

@ bianca... heels while running errands...only you.

@ brit... haha, good one.

@ anonymous... you just don't know me, that's all. most of this stuff is tongue in cheek anyway. i thought of most of this list by experiencing it myself. but if you were someone who thought it was too much effort to put forth your best effort, we would never be a good match anyway... so it's all good!

Jasmine said...

Do you have any flower petals left?


Daniel said...

Ms. Glenn,
This is good stuff, the last two blogs! Really.
I should try my own ... lets see ... a date ... now just what WAS that like ...

Rule one: I don't ask if my kids can come ...

Mmmmmm ...

Hey ... does that chick off Figueroa St. asking ME if I want "a date" count?

homegirl said...

I think you pinpointed the important details. I'll remember to ask myself, "WWBD" on my first date.


Jon Lustig said...

Wow, I can't believe that 'you asked her out, you pay for dinner' seems to be as complicated as quantum physics for some people. If men today can't work with rules as simple as the ones Brianna laid out here then we're in more trouble than I thought. My suggestion is, as soon as you and your date meet/sit down/whatever, try to steer the conversation away from yourselves for around 10 minutes (no interview questions). If the 2 of you can't simply talk and enjoy the experience, there's probably not much there.

Brittany is right of course, if a guy invites you to a club where it's barely possible to hear yourself think let alone your date, your just his escort. But there's nothing wrong with a little dancing after dinner. And if he has the least bit of musical talent, he might just play you something. At least then you'll know he's really trying.

Anonymous said...

The reason you are still single Brianna is because of your STUPID rules.

Brianna said...

you're right...i could settle for just any old body and have myself a man RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND.

Anonymous said...

Brianna = Fantasy land!
da plane....da plane....

t.v. said...

Bri, I think you're contradicting yourself on the "No hanging out before going on a real date" rule.

A few blogs ago you "schooled" me on your steps taken towards being with a guy.:) And hanging out was step one and then dating.

So if I'm to understand your dating philosophy correctly. If you're interested you date the guy right away and if you're not you just hang out...???

brit_brat said...

Now I know you guys are starting to get deep into this conversation...
but let's all pause for a second and just focus on the smartest and most accurate comment made thus far:

"Brittany is right of course"

Honestly, I see no reason to continue. That pretty much says all that needs to be said. Goodnight.

marcus said...

First time in her life she's ever heard those words. I know that must have felt good huh Brit?

Just playin. :)

Luv ya,


brit_brat said...

oh no I hear it all the time. it's just usually me saying it.
miss you guys!

Anonymous said...

I don't care what is said a man I'm not saying "real man" will pay for the meal will pay for the date. If you have a boy that's looking for you to pay for anything. Run Forrest!!!!, Run, he is not worth your time or your company. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. Dtown2121