Well last weekend I sent out an invitation to someone I may one day find myself interested in. There are no guarantees but it’s a possibility. And since possibilities are my bread and butter these days, I might as well give them their due. I invited him to church on Sunday. It’s not your normal date spot or the best place to get to know someone, but it can give you far more insight into a person’s character than a movie and dinner ever could.
So we went. And the other day he mentioned something to me that I haven’t been able to quite get out of my head. He told me how much he appreciated that I asked him to go with me, that he enjoyed it, and how it was his favorite time spent with me thus far. I know that really doesn’t say too much about the chemistry that may or may not be there, but I must say that I feel good about the prospect of that possibility.
19 comments:
"...someone I may one day find myself interested in."
This phrase jumped off your blog page.
Are you actually dating someone you are not interested in? Isn't that a form of settling just to be dating? A possibility excuse?
Please do elaborate, because I'm leaning towards thinking "Poor Guy".
Can I get an AMEN?!?!? ;)
Wow, I would be totally floored if someone I knew invited me to do something like that. You're right though, it would give you an indication of what kind of person they are pretty fast. How prepared they are to accept something bigger than themselves, that they might not actually represent the centre of the universe. I know I'd feel a bit uncomfortable (I wouldn't be able to read the book, wouldn't know when to stand/sit, little things like that), but I would still say yes. And it sounds like you found what you were hoping to find.
hoping it works out for u
no, i'm not dating someone i may not be interested in...i'm hanging out to see if i may be interested. totally different. it goes like this...
-hanging out
-dating
-relationship
-breakup/marriage!
you women are so funny- here's a little "men are from mars; women are from venus" analysis for you miss bri:
a man says: "i appreciate you asking me to go to church with you and worship"
a man means: "thank you for the opportunity to have sex with you some day. i plan to do that by showing you how wholesome and church-going i am.
a man says: "going to church was my favorite time spent with you so far."
a man means: "we havent hooked up a whole lot yet, so this has been the best time we've spent. but once you get comfortable with me that will change."
good luck with your prospect.
Dating 101? Oh nah.. It's hanging out 101, with a 4 step guide to check off as you go along...
Why waste time on someone you're not interested in? Am I the only shallow one here? Shouldn't there be a tab bit of interest in order to "hang out" (as you so eloquently put it) with someone? Albeit physical?
But then again, taking baby steps might be the way to go for you.
Maybe I need to start taking dudes to church with me...lol
what did Bianca say again?
get to know his fragrance? or his smell?
dang it....I knew it before I started typing...
oh I'll just come back when I remember!
@ anonymous... yea, of course you give me your two cents anonymously because you wouldn't really be going on too many dates if you were stupid enough to leave your name huh?!
@ t.v...i think you are putting too much into it. of course i have to be interested to hang out. otherwise i'd be hanging out all the time.
@ eb...try it!
if he goes to church fairly regularly then its all good, if not then as pessoas vão dizer nada
Bri,
You know I typically am on your side on this blog, and am always on your side when it comes to life in general. But I think you're being a little overly defensive to the valid comments you received from anonymous and t.v., and I think the reason why is because you (rightfully so) are a little insecure/unsure about giving this guy a chance to be more than friends. Though anonymous was a little crude and more c-blocking than giving advice, it is true that this man is sexually attracted to you and, no matter how much he genuinely likes you and enjoys your company, the end goal is to get you in his bed. Whether he is serious about wanting a real relationship with you, I don't know.
T.V.'s comments I think are especially fitting. If you're not interested in a man initially that's not necessarily a bad thing. But, if after spending some serious time with that person you still aren't even sure if you COULD be interested in him, that's a good sign that something is wrong and your potential relationship is doomed from the start. Especially if this guy's been trying to get at you for a while. Has he??
Ms. Glenn,
I wasn’t going to comment about this subject, because, well, your personal life is yours and yours alone. I think you’re old enough and mature enough to figure out what kind of approach to potential relationships works, and if it doesn’t you are wise enough (and practical enough) to figure that out too and change something.
But what has moved me to make a comment is this idea that all a man really has on is mind (like it’s the most meaningful of “end goals”) is sex. I certainly know that’s the case with many today (gee, I wonder what the mind-set absorbing porn gives a guy about what women are for anyway, huh?). And I’m pretty positive that is exactly what you don’t want.
Does every friggin’ guy in the world have to have the immature viewpoint proliferated in, say Men’s Fitness (or worse) mag (“Get Buff! Get Laid!”)?
Stick to your ‘guns’ Ms. Glenn, because you’ve already figured out the real truth about relationships; sex can’t make one work, sex can’t fix one, sex can’t sustain one and definitely sex is no solid basis for any permanent one. Yes, intimacy has its place (and can definitely add to an already established, working one) but any thinking adult knows there is SO MUCH MORE to a functioning, loving relationship than some debased over-focus on “gettin’ me some”.
And we wonder just why so many can’t make or maintain relationships these days?
Daniel
@ marcus...I don't know why it seems like I'm not interested though just because I said I'm not interested enough to pick out a wedding dress. Isn't it ok to be a little bit interested for now???
@ daniel...i believe that not all guys are like that. i try and be on the lookout for that 2% as much as possible.
Ms. Glenn,
I wish it was only 2%. You are more charitable than me.
Daniel
There's a difference between really being interested in someone and talking yourself into giving someone a chance because you have nothing better on your plate at this point in time (and maybe haven't in a while). That's the definition of settling to me. You decide which one it truly is.
fine marcus...I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH THE GUY AGAIN. are you happy??? i'm going to be an old spinster and live with you and the fam for the rest of my life.
Rachel
Your counsin says "follow your heart". If it made you feel good to invite this man to church, so be it. As long as it makes you happy, then I say "go for it". Anyway, did you see any cute men there for me. Hey let me know if you want to come down for the Inauguration!
LMAO, whateva
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