"The bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you refuse to take the turn."
Right now I have a lot of questions. And on most days it seems like I don’t have a single, solitary answer. My life is in a place that I did not envision and I feel lost. But for some reason I’m supposed to be exactly where I am. In this state… in this house… in this (lack of) relationship… spending time with these friends…taking this time for myself…following this path.
And I’m not supposed to be in China. This is the biggest pill to swallow. Because I thought that I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that THAT was my destiny. You could not have convinced me otherwise. But that blessing was not for me. Not this time around. The hardest thing about this sport is that you can work harder than you ever thought possible, you can commit more than you ever thought you could, you can possess all the talent in the world, and yet still you might find yourself no closer to your goal than before all of the sacrifice. And you wonder why that is. Why me? Why now? Why this? Why not? Why her? I can’t answer any of them right now, but I do know that there is a reason for this particular point in my life and for things unfolding the way they did. So I just need to continue to trust that this path is the right one for me. I’m not at the end of the road, I’m just continuing on the path I didn’t even realize I was on.