Monday, August 15, 2011


When it comes right down to it, I really am a humble gal about most things. I don't walk around thinking I'm the best thing since sliced bread and telling everyone in earshot how fabulous I am unless I'm at home and my little sister needs reminding. When it comes to anything concerning physical appearance, it's far to subjective to consider yourself superior in pretty much any category, and if you live in Southern California, the absolute capitol of Superficialdom, you can easily look around at any point and time and find someone who has a better this, a bigger or smaller that, and a far better defined anything, EXCEPT, in my case, ABDOMINAL SECTION.

I have a pretty amazing midsection if you tend to be partial towards stomachs that are defined and ripped. And I realize that there are plenty of people that aren't, and that's totally okay. It doesn't really negate the fact that that is what mine looks like. It's pretty much fact rather than opinion. You might think that sounds incredibly arrogant, but I assure you it's not. Once I'm done competing I plan on flattening it out just a bit if possible and laying off the Ninja Turtle look, so it's not my optimal stomach, and besides, the fact that I carry such little body fat is directly proportional to the sad truth that I don't have fat lumps on other parts of my body where I reaaaaallly wish I did. So, I promise you there is no reason whatsoever to be jealous.

All that to say that last week I put out on social media that I was going in for a casting for some ab infomercial where they needed background people with "ripped, defined abs." I was already pre-selected to be seen through my agency, because I just don't believe in going to open, random castings when what they are looking for is so subjective. But in this case, I figured not only do they need 8 people, there just isn't really something I am more qualified for. I am pretty much a shoo in. Of course I should have remembered that one time I didn't get that commercial when they were looking for a long jumper, with curly hair, approximately 5'6, with brown skin and a dimple in her right cheek.

So, I went to the audition. i let them take pictures of me in a sports bra and shorts and then film me using their gadgety little ab machine that didn't make my abs sore AT ALL, but caused me to really take notice of my hip flexors and inner thighs. (Note to consumers: if you really want a ripped midsection, don't bother with gadgets and machines). They said they would be in contact by the end of the week to let me know if I got the job and give me all the pertinent information. That was last week and I never received a phone call.

I'm pretty sure I didn't get the job. Did they want all blondes? Was there a height requirement? Would I have made the main talent look subpar? One will never know. But I just have a hard time believing that 8 people walked into that casting with more "ripped, and defined" abs than me. But then again, this is Southern California, and maybe I haven't been looking around hard enough.


bianca said...

Now I regret eating your banana bread after seeing this picture.

Just in case you forgot, I totally hate you right now.

Rachel said...

You are better than sliced bread! ;p

Forget them, You don't need them. You look absolutely beautiful!

Albert Einstein said...

It's just a thing with you.

Not sure yet in analyzing your past where you get "it" from!?

In the friends you choose or those that choose to be ur friend, it's all the same.

Arrogance! My sh*t doesn't stink mentality!

All of the bomb squad have have this.


I don't know.

U had a great season by the way Brianna! 1'st, 1'st, 1'st 1'st over and OVER! Well done!

Brianna said... love me and you absolutely LOVE my banana bread. :)

@rachel...thank you. sliced bread is so overrated.

@albert...your first problem is trying to analyze a past of someone you don't really know. the second is my friends will all agree that i am far more "arrogant" than them, but i prefer to call it confidence. the third is that i can't help you see my sense of humor the way i see it... sometimes you just gotta realize that i write for fun. have a nice day.

Daniel said...

Ms. Glenn,
Those boxing gloves look HUGE in that picture!

Feel free to simply ignore jerks. Works real well for me.

(And ... NO. Homemade pizza ain't healthy just 'cause it's made at home. That might even be why I can't see my abs no more. But at least the kiddie's ask for seconds!)

Anonymous2 said...

That boxing pic is a great HQ pic. Now if we can see some in action HQ long jump pics taking off the board, in flight, and landing in the sand, that would be great.

steveburks said...

LOL @ "ninja turtle look." About the fat lumps, I think they have surgery for that :)

Albert Einstein said...



However, you just have a way about you that comes across as "stuck up"! Or "stick up ur a**"!

Any thoughts on why?

Gotta be some baggage in the past which makes you come across this way? Perhaps not the real you and only perceived by the general public? I don't know.

In any event, congrats on getting the gig!

Gina said...

Hi Brianna.

Awesome picture! I've been working out for a few months now and my body, especially my arms, are constantly sore. I was wondering.... after working out for a period of time, does the soreness eventually go away? Being that you workout so much, is your body constantly sore?

Brianna said...

Hi Gina... Soreness does go away, but if you switch up your routine it comes back!

FYI everyone... I'm on set now. I spoke too soon! ;)

Tyson Gay said...

New blog please! I'm having withdrawals. Off-season does not mean you can slack off! Get it together! :)