Thursday, August 12, 2010

Here, Take This!

Submitting to random drug testing is a necessary evil of our sport. It sucks, it’s inconvenient, but at the end of the day it’s for the greater good. The inconvenient aspect of it comes in two main forms, the when and the what. The when would be the whereabouts forms that must be up to date at all times so that they can find us and order us to pee on demand, 365 days of the year. With schedules like ours, this is a daunting task but it ensures the element of surprise, which is needed in order to catch people trying to cheat. The “what” is all the things you could possibly have in your system that could cause you to have a positive test. The reason this part gets tricky is that it’s not just about staying away from a bottle labeled “testosterone” or “human growth hormone”. There are pages and pages of lists of things that cannot be in our system, most of which I have no idea what they are because I never earned my chemist degree. But it is our job and responsibility to know. Therefore, we will often be sick as a dog but unable to take certain over the counter cold medicines out of fear.

All of this brings me to a funny little occurrence that happened the other day at the track. I’m in Germany training in between meets and I had went to the track with the purpose of doing a workout. However, my body had other ideas. I warmed up and just sat there. I was drained, my body was tired, and it just didn’t make sense to try and make it do something it obviously was not in a position to do. In talking with another local athlete at the track, I explained to him my body just felt raggedy. His response? He goes in his bag and hands me this…

He says it will make me feel better and give me some energy. But all I see is a vile of liquid with ingredients and instructions in a language I don’t speak. Why on earth would I take such a thing? I wouldn’t, of course, but it struck me as comical that someone would think it was okay to hand out supplements like that. Imagine if it came out I had a positive test and then I tried to tell you this story after the fact? You’d laugh in my face and roll your eyes.

So, my body still feels a little raggedy, but I think I’ll just eat some oranges and bananas. Better safe than sorry!


Dust said...

I was told "if you ain't cheatin then you ain't tryin!"

steveburks said...

"There are pages and pages of lists of things that cannot be in our system, most of which I have no idea what they are because I never earned my chemist degree."

*standing and applauding*

I once got a traffic ticket for breaking a law I didn't know existed. The officer's attitude? "You know now." Imagine if it had landed me in jail. Or in the unemployment line, with a Career Guide tucked under my arm, and "CHEATER" stenciled across my chest.

Thank God for discernment. That tube of whatever could have left you trying out for the WNBA. (And I LOVE MJ. Deeply. No dis. Just sayin'.)

Anonymous said...

Wise choice to decline. Who knows what was in that vile. For all you could have been a vile full of hot "Aloysius Snuffleupagus" pee-pee!! So...yes! Better safe, than sorry!


anonymousnupe said...

Yeah, you know I woulda dogged you had you betrayed me like that, right? Just up your D, vitamin D, that is, to around 7,000 IU a day (you know how I feel about the D, right?), doll. That'll help tremendously.

B said...

Then stay out of my gym bag... we both know I've taken stuff from China, Japan, and Mexico.

Heehee ;)

Daniel said...

Ms. Glenn,
At least Mr. Merritt didn't give you any ExtenZe!

And I love MJ too! Still.
(You DID mean Marion Jones, right? 'Cause if not ... uh ...)

Anonymous said...

Real Cheaters don't get caught.
Ask King Carl

1st: Marion has a steady paycheck now with the WNBA; her time with Athletics would be coming to a close.

2nd: Taking from a substance from anyone other than mom or dad, is risky. That could have been a tube of date rape gel, steroids, anthrax, or vitamin D.

Final: Testing policies are nonsense in respect to making competition fair. Athletes from many other countries would love to have access to the same type of facilities American athletes enjoy. Money is the real equalizer ask Carl Lewis when he was getting paid during those years "Amateur Athletes" were restricted from receiving income. Tell IAAF to investigate that.

Anonymous said...

It sucks, it’s inconvenient, but at the end of the day it’s for the greater good.

Wish all athletes had this attitude. Well said and well done Brianna! said...

Good job on keeping your senses when your body (and presumably brain) were out of it.