Amazing is Here

The theme for the 2008 Olympics is ”AMAZING AWAITS” and so far I think that they are delivering on their promise to produce some of the most remarkable and incredible moments we’ve seen in sports in a very long time—it is simply amazing. I thought for a moment that it would be hard for me to even watch these Olympics, let alone get hype. But I can’t seem to stay away. Every night I stay up to watch the coverage of all the sports I usually don’t even have much of an interest in, and I am truly enthralled and caught up in the enthusiasm of it all. I actually caught myself SCREAMING and jumping up and down as I pushed along our U.S. swimmers when they beat France in the relay. I pump my fist when Misty May and Kerri Walsh dominate their opponents. I got giddy for the male gymnasts when they were able to medal against the odds and felt the disappointment with the women when they see the gold slip away from them. Only the Olympics can bring out that type of passion. And for the most part, these are not even my close friends that I am watching or the sport that I know and love. Now that softball has started, I get to watch my blonde bombshell do her thing. And tomorrow, when track and field gets underway, I will watch my friends and fellow competitors make their country proud. The ache is there, and sometimes I get a lump in my throat watching so many have the opportunity to realize their dreams, but there is also still some enjoyment to be had in experiencing these moments in history as a fan.

I know that once Track and Field starts, my emotions will be heightened on every level. I will feel frustration and regret for sure, but I will also tingle with anticipation and get caught up in the excitement of it all. I know that there will be some amazing races. There won’t be 5 world records set per race, but they will be thrilling nonetheless. I want to be in Beijing so bad right now that it hurts, but there is nothing I can do about that. Beijing is going to happen regardless and the most I can do now is sit back and enjoy the spectacle that is before me.

In other news…



I have been asking around to see if anybody I know lives or visits the Hampton’s so I can get my hands on a Hampton’s Magazine featuring me, along with some fellow athletes, on the cover (shown above). So far…no dice. None of my friend’s seem to own a summer home. I tried calling Martha Stewart but she hasn’t gotten back to me. A lot of press I did this year came before the Trials and so it’s a bit weird when I read different stories talking about being and Olympian while I’m sitting at home but I still think it’s cool that I even got the opportunity to be involved. If you’d like to read the cover story that was included in the magazine, please click HERE! (I am the third story down)




And if you do happen to pick up a magazine and see my face, walk into a liquor store and see me plastered on a poster, or anything else that might be considered a once in a lifetime opportunity, please take (or steal) it for me, or at the very least snap a picture and send it my way.

Adventures in Babysitting

In the past week, I have stepped up my kiddie game tremendously. First came voluntary babysitting for my friend’s 1 and 3 year old. I felt that my time spent with the two kids over the past couple of weeks prepared me to tackle the job alone for an extended period of time. All went fairly well until bedtime…this is where I ran into a bit of trouble. I’m a bit of a pushover I suppose, since 10 more minutes doesn’t seem to be a big deal to me—certainly not worth an unhappy kid. Nor is stretching that time even more by reading a bedtime story. But then I got firm. Except when it came to the baby and screams—REALLY LOUD SCREAMS that I did not seem to be able to cope with correctly. So I just let her stay up until she tired herself out so badly that once I laid down with her in Mommy’s bed, she was out like a lamp. They could deal with the misplaced child when they got home I assumed.

After I survived that feat (yes, it was my first), I agreed to help chaperone my nephew’s fieldtrip today to an amusement park. Four full hours with exuberant 4 and 5 year olds. I am now more worn-out than I ever have been in life-- more exhausted than working out at the highest possible level. It was a full day of high-pitched voices at incredibly loud decibels, interspersed with screaming, crying, hitting, laughing and did I mention screaming? I understand we were outside, but I could have used a few moments of inside voices. Whew!!! I settled disputes, went on potty patrol AND made sure they washed their hands, fed crustables that were still partly frozen, didn’t lose a single kid…shoot, I was pretty darn impressive!

They always say that babysitting is the best form of birth control and I happen to agree. But my real hope is that I start to feel more comfortable around kids so that I am not so petrified of one day having my own. Even though I’m 28, I still am quite sure that I’m in no hurry. I can manage hours at a time now with no real catastrophes, but overnights for a full 18 years are something I can probably put off for a little while longer.

8.8.08

In case you were unaware, the Olympics start today. I happen to be very aware. I don't plan on watching the opening ceremonies tonight because that knife is still a little too sharp. I do hope to be able to enjoy and appreciate the rest of the Games though because that would be unfortunate if I wasn't able to watch some of my friends shine in their moment of glory and be able to feel a sense of pride in my country and the spirit of the Olympics. I found a clip on YouTube of this thing I did for Polo Ralph Lauren when I was in New York earlier this year modeling the village wear and the opening ceremonies outfits. (click here to read that post.) I thought it was fitting to post today, even though I am sitting here in California and not in Beijing, unable to wear the clothes in their proper environment. Oh well...it's still a cool clip!



And while you are in the mood of reading and seeing stuff about me, I did an interview while I was still in Eugene talking about the disappointment of not making the team and if you wish to read it, you can go here at PreRaceJitters.com.

During this same interview, I also taped an interview with a guy named John Davis, who was doing a mini documentary called "OH!" (Olympic Hopefuls). If you'd like to view a portion of that, you can watch that as well. Although, I will warn you that because I had to tape it after I had already competed, I was a little dry and monotone, which is unfortunate because my personality is usually so much better! I mention this only because I think it's important for athletes in our sport to have personality and to be engaging so that more people become interested, and I realize I didn't hold up my end of the bargain here. It's hard to talk about being an Olympic Hopeful after you already know that you haven't made the team. Regardless, here it is...

An Unknown Road

"The bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you refuse to take the turn."

Right now I have a lot of questions. And on most days it seems like I don’t have a single, solitary answer. My life is in a place that I did not envision and I feel lost. But for some reason I’m supposed to be exactly where I am. In this state… in this house… in this (lack of) relationship… spending time with these friends…taking this time for myself…following this path.

And I’m not supposed to be in China. This is the biggest pill to swallow. Because I thought that I knew, that I knew, that I knew, that THAT was my destiny. You could not have convinced me otherwise. But that blessing was not for me. Not this time around. The hardest thing about this sport is that you can work harder than you ever thought possible, you can commit more than you ever thought you could, you can possess all the talent in the world, and yet still you might find yourself no closer to your goal than before all of the sacrifice. And you wonder why that is. Why me? Why now? Why this? Why not? Why her? I can’t answer any of them right now, but I do know that there is a reason for this particular point in my life and for things unfolding the way they did. So I just need to continue to trust that this path is the right one for me. I’m not at the end of the road, I’m just continuing on the path I didn’t even realize I was on.

To Write or Not: A Debate

I've been writing this blog for almost a year now, and in the past it has crossed my mind that perhaps I might want to tackle something a little larger in scale. I originally started a blog mainly for fun. I thought it would be a nice addition to my website, something I could update regularly and keep my friends and family in the loop of what was going on in my life. But then I started to find that plenty of people read this who do not know me at all; who don’t even know much about my sport even. And something keeps them interested. Either that or they lead really boring lives. So I began to think that perhaps there is a larger audience who could benefit from and appreciate hearing my story the way I know how to tell it. I’m not the 'opening up' type—never have been. People might get the impression that it’s easy for me to share and allow myself to be vulnerable when in fact the exact opposite is true. I am not like that AT ALL in person yet somehow I found a way to share my experience through words on a computer screen. At times it wasn’t easy but once I started I felt it was only fair to continue to be honest and give a complete as picture as possible. I have a horrible memory and if I were to go back and read the entries from this year, I want to be able to truly remember how it unfolded and the feelings associated with it all.

I am pretty confident that I did a good job with that task. However, when I think about writing something beyond my blog now, it doesn’t make as much sense. What I had envisioned was telling the story of an Olympian. Being able to take people through the journey, through the process both mentally and physically that I’ve been through to reach my goal. Because the goal wasn’t met, I just don’t think it has the same appeal. It’s not that I don’t have a story to tell, because at the end of the day I think we all have a compelling and interesting story, but in a realistic sense a story about someone who tried to make an Olympic team is just not as appealing to the masses as someone who actually did. I’m also not as jazzed to even try and tell that particular story because who actually feels like writing a love song immediately after they have had their heart broken?

But I am still wondering if perhaps I could come up with an engaging narrative that people would appreciate and find value in. Maybe it would be something totally different than what I thought I might write about. In the traditional sense, I am not a writer. I read plenty of blogs, articles, etc. on a daily basis that blow my way with words out of the water. That’s ok with me because I don’t need to be chosen for Oprah’s Book Club. I just want to see if perhaps I have a story to tell that people want to hear, in a way that hasn’t been told before…or at least in a better way. That is why I am coming to you all with an interest in your perspective. I know why most of my close friends and family read – they are forced to and are afraid of the repercussions if they fall too far behind and I surprise them with a pop quiz. But for the rest of you, I can only speculate. Plenty of people have told me that I should write something. But writing more than a couple of paragraphs is something I know nothing about. Where would I start? What would I say? Why should I say it?

So even though this can’t truly be an objective debate because you have already chosen to visit my blog, probably on more than one occasion, I wonder if you think there is a particular story you think I’d be adept at telling. Of course I can simply write for my own sake and there is nothing wrong with that, but I’m just trying to get a feel for what it is about me that other people find interesting. I figure there is no better audience to ask than you because you already know how I write and what I like to write about. Some of it is random, silly stuff and some of it is truly personal and close to my heart but I wonder if any of it has a place outside of this blog. And who knows, maybe the relevance comes later. I just finished Barack Obama’s books and I’m sure they’ve seen a significant spike in the past year.

If you have an opinion one way or the other, please don’t hesitate to leave it in the comments. I have also created a poll up in the right hand corner. I am not against constructive criticism. I specifically made the post “A Debate” because I have not come to the conclusion that I should expand my writing outside this domain and I am definitely not sure that right now is the time I could tell any story that is worth telling. Maybe I should re-visit this idea at a later time when I know that it will mean something to a wider audience. Or maybe I really could find direction for my words--a story that works because I am the one telling it. What say you?

Picture of the Week: Nikkie

I’d be remiss without featuring a photo of my friend Nicole because she is just that fabulous. Today, she turns the dirty thirty. Last night we made sure that she celebrated the milestone properly. Even though this stage of her life is filled with mommy duties and a ton of responsibilities that I have yet to embrace, I still feel like our friendship hasn’t changed that much in the ten years I’ve known her. She is still the fun-loving, charismatic, loyal, thoughtful, genuine person she has always been, just with fewer single girl outings that we had come to perfect over the years.



At Nikkie’s party last night, one of the many pictures we took was a reunion photo of all University of Arizona graduates. She is the kind of person who keeps friendships alive and knows that the surest way to have such fantastic friends is to be one.

Rise and Shine

I am not a morning person. For the last six years of my life I have been afforded the luxury of rising when my body naturally chooses to. And it never chooses to early. I absolutely hate an alarm clock and I hate the feeling of my body asking me for more sleep and being unable to give it what it wishes. I am not one to go against nature. And before you think I have a few lazy bones in this body I will assure you that lots of rest is part of the formula needed to be a top level athlete. Sleep is when your body recovers and heals itself. There is actually a whole science behind it but just trust my judgment when I tell you that it’s in my best interest to get around 9 hours and that they come after I am able to watch all my favorite T.V. shows.

Well the last few days, as I have settled in down here in the beautiful OC, I have woken up every day and peered at my phone to see the time, only to shocked and disturbed that it begins with either a 6 or 7. This is not right. When I first get back from Europe I expect this. I actually like going to bed early and then waking up as the sun also rises from its slumber and find myself being extra productive. But the jet lag has passed and I am getting back into my routine of staying up to my normal bedtime only to be woken at abnormal hours. There is bright sunlight pouring into the room that I’m sleeping in. There are other humans occupying the house who are very much morning people. There are workers just behind the house building and hammering and making entirely too much raucous. There must be a quieter way to build a house, or at the very least, a start time of 10 am to do such things.

By midday I begin to feel the repercussions of my actions. I am sluggish and my eyes are heavy and it feels like naptime. But I haven’t really done anything to warrant a nap so that seems like a bit of a nonsensical answer. There are people who can function beautifully off of 4,5,6 hours of sleep. I am not one of them and I probably never will be. That is ok though because good sleep is a wonderful thing and something I enjoy tremendously. Perhaps the Lord will bless me with children that are born with the same sleeping patterns as their mother—as infants! One can dream. Until it’s a necessity though, I must find a way to hold on to my beauty sleep.