Thursday, September 17, 2009

Being a Girl Sucks

I’m an independent woman for the most part. Beyonce was totally singing about me when she sang for all her Independent gals to throw your hands up at me. I can do pretty much anything on my own…anything except kill bugs and fix cars. Which is why I am totally frustrated and helpless now that my car is sitting down in the garage totally dead. Yesterday, when I found it that way after over two months of sitting idle, (probably not smart, I know) I had plenty of help around to get me back on my way. I found someone with cables, someone to hook them up, and someone to open my hood and be the first to encounter the rabbits who had taken up residence. But that was yesterday.

Today, I again have a dead car and nobody around to help. I am far away from friends, I didn’t pass a helpful looking soul that wasn’t rushing out to the office, and I can’t locate my insurance card to see if I even have roadside assistance. I guess I’m supposed to buy a battery but who knows if you are forced to install it yourself. That would sure be scary and pretty much impossible so I’m sure they have someone who does it for you. But first comes the problem of finding someone to start my car so I can get to some sort of place that does that.

In the meantime, I’m just sitting here pouting. This is yet another reason why I really need to speed up the search for a husband because I’d prefer for this to be someone else’s problem. Oh…and did I mention I had to kill a bug this morning with nothing but a paper towel?! Sheer madness.


People keep asking me what ended up happening with my car…so I suppose I’ll finish the story.

First, let me start with the moral of the story: Listen to your instinct.

I would never attempt anything grander than putting gas in my own car. But thanks to some well-intentioned friends and strangers who convinced me of the problem… and the obvious simplicity of how to fix it… I tried to be superwoman. Changing your own battery is easy!”, they claimed. So off I went to Wal-Mart to purchase a new battery. This is where the story takes an unpromising turn. I could just blame it on the Wal-Mart employee but maybe it was my bad for assuming he was an auto expert and chose to work at Wal-Mart for the unbelievable benefits. Long story short…I bought the battery, relied on the expertise of my girlfriend who had saw someone put in her battery months earlier and swore it was a piece of cake, and ended up with a car that wouldn’t spit, sputter, or click if it’s life depended on it. So, I have it towed, and then wait almost 24 hours for them to tell me that the problem was a blown fuse, caused by the purchase of the wrong type of battery that made this one part touch this other part that it wasn’t supposed to. Their “expertise” cost me the big bucks and the silly little fuse was only $12 dollars.

So yes, it was my battery, but no, a person like me should not try and pretend they’re someone they’re not. When it comes to cars, DIY might as well stand for screw it up and pay even more.


anonymousnupe said...

So no AAA either, I presume? They'll still come and bring a battery if you call them. It'll just cost you (a lot) more. Any roadside assitance service worth its salt will do the same.

And what kind of bug?

Jon Lustig said...

So is that the full and complete list of desired husband abilities then? And thanks for the hilarity provided by my mentally picturing the very last thing you mentioned.
I suppose that a blind guy coming along to tell you how unbelievably easy the battery thing is is just pouring salt in the wound, but I swear it really is pretty simple. Anyone with the most basic toolbox can do it themselves. If it's something you just want done and over with then by all means call (and pay) someone to do it. But honestly, spending 40 seconds with google will tell you all you need to know. And I'm sure you could find 30,000 pictures to look at if you're still confused about it. I've personally done it in less than 15 minutes.

#2 said...

I was thinking that same thing..."Where are all the men at when you really need them?" Oh that's right...Nowhere to be found ;-)

Bianca said...

@jon: You're blind?! No way.

@breezy: I'm so sorry, friend!!! This breaks my heart :( We'll make up for it on Saturday!

Anonymous said...

If the car's been sitting idle, after you jump it you'll have to run it for awhile to juice it up. You may have to start it at regular intervals to keep the electrons moving. And you probably need to put some water in the battery.

Daniel said...

Ms. Glenn,
It takes awhile for the Alternator on the engine to recharge the battery, so driving around isn’t as effective as a stand-alone charger. Do check the water level; water does evaporate, lol. But if it has the ‘pop-off’ tops (not a seal construction type; don’t mess with it if it is), be careful of the fluid; once inside the battery it ain’t just water anymore, it’s called battery acid, OK?
But, with automotive style lead-acid batteries, once fully dead, sometimes they don’t recharge well, especially if the batteries older.

Here’s a webpage fer ya:

Oh. And you ought to be at Daegu. That Women’s 200M looks like a Start List you could handle.
And they have Chaunte Howard listed in the Women’s Long Jump. At 7.96! LOL!
I’d like to see her High Jump THAT, lol.

Oh, and the Obligatory “Mrs. Howard’s cute too”.

(PS: The webpage isn’t offered with a straight face.)

Brianna said...

I am currently waiting for someone to go buy a battery and install it for me. The 2nd jump was no more lasting than the one last night, it just got me from point A to point B then died again as soon as I turned it off.

Dexter said...


I'm not laughing AT you, I'm laughing WITH you. Oh, wait, you're not laughing.

Sorry for your troubles. I think the best thing I ever did as a husband was get my wife a PREMIER AAA membership. They replace batteries, bring gas, jump your car, etc. AND, they will unlock your car after your wife locks the keys in the car and calls me anyway! But, I digress....

On the other hand Bri - I DO know about care, but I have feigned ignorance because otherwise, my wife would have me changing oil and other such madness. You girls have got to learn to love us because of all the OTHER things we have to offer besides working with our hands!

Peace & Love

j buck said...

Now that you are back and not competing for awhile, where my comments might have gotten inside your head and effected your performance, can I start dishing on you again when applicable?

For example....ut um....

Your so called "search" for a husband is completely idiotic! You don't "search" for true love. You don't have a check list for true love. If you want to find a "the one", you need to start focusing on yourself when it comes to romance. Stop focusing on what the other person should be and just be you. Have fun being you, and someone who likes the same things will appear who also likes the same things. Let things happen instead of always having a plan of how your going to scrutinize a guy with our dumbass checklist. The key is to be selfish, do the things that you like to do. Next date, meet him somewhere that you like, and if he is not as excited to do that as you are, then he is not for you. You have to find your best friend and best friends laugh at the same jokes, want to do the same things, don't care about all your flaws and you don't care about theirs. You are going about this "search" in all the wrong way!

As far as the battery, have someone install it for sure. Its not as easy as the people above describe. Its like huge ass heavy. Undo the connections with the proper size wrench. Yank it out cutting yourself on all the metal, and breaking a few nails. Not to mention all the black crude which will be on your hands and under your nails. You'll get a hernia as you bend over to set it down. Not too mention all kinds of battery acid which will no doubt burn a hole through your jeans that you will never be able to wear again because of the new found grease on them. Then you have to pick up the new battery. Angle it just perfect in order to get it in, causing severe back injury. Then figure out which one is positive and negative, find the nuts you lost, and the wrench that fell down into the engine, then .........

oh forget it! Don't bother! Maybe with some of those winnings you can buy something better than an 89 Hugo?

Anonymous said...

A girl like U needs AAA anyone with a car should have AAA Good reading so far:) Neil W.

Maximus Decimus Meridius. said...

Good luck with the car thing.

How about posting some pics of girls Saturday night out?

Would love to see!

Juliette said...

thanx 4 the end of u'r story Bri, i hope all i well for u.. <3

Juliette said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

wasn't yur fault. how 'bout that Jeter. I told my nephew she looked unbeatable during the world champs. You seem formidable, lately, but maybe, a little inhibited at competition.