I believe most people think I’m a nice person…once they get to know me. But I am learning more and more, that before that introduction happens and I’m just another face in the sea, that face is not radiating kindness. There are those people that walk around with a constant smile and an encouraging word to every person they see, and I happen to think that’s great. In fact, most of my friends are like that. I’ve always said that in comparison they make me look worse, because I am now superimposed next to the epitome of “friendly”, and here I stand in stark comparison as the girl who just seems pleasant enough. I am a caring, thoughtful, attentive person to those people I know, and I thought to those people I might not know as well, but I’m hearing that perhaps what I consider to be a smile and acknowledgement, isn’t always reaching it’s intended target the way it should. Here are the most common sentiments I hear in regards to my not-so-nice first impressions…
I look intimidating: This comes from both men and women so it’s not like I can just blame it on the opposite sex. I don’t want to be an intimidating person (unless I reaaaly don’t want you to talk to me), so I must figure out what it is about my presence that gives off that vibe. I like people. I want people to like me. It shouldn’t be a daunting task to be my friend, but a lot of times before someone knows me, I can seem a bit unapproachable.
I look standoffish: Perhaps this is a little bit related to being intimidating, but I believe this delves more into the realm of coming off as a snob or being a bit stuck-up. Of course I’m going to tell you that I’m anything but, and I’d venture to say that most people, once they know me, would totally agree, but nevertheless I’ve heard this comment more than I would wish.
I look mean: I’m not sure what it is about my face, but for some reason if I am just walking around or minding my own business, it can resemble that of an ice queen. My face just doesn’t constantly have a smile on it for some reason and I’ve heard that it looks like I’m mad about something or I am not in a good mood. But to be honest, I think it’s just how my face is. I really don’t think I can help it.
There are those of you who know me well and I’m sure you’d be happy to say how even if you initially may have had that impression of me, it couldn’t be further from the truth now that you know me. And maybe there are some of you who know me only as an acquaintance who thought the exact same thing when you first had an encounter with me. I’m curious to know what you think and if you could possibly give any insight as to why. Maybe that could help me figure out something I am doing unconsciously that I could alter in some way. I don’t think I’ll ever be winning awards for most delightful stranger you’ve ever met, but I can try.