Thursday, December 30, 2010

2010: Year in Review

I can't believe 2010 is almost over. I know people say that all the time, and sure I've said that too in years past, but it seems like the older I get, the more the years just fly by. Can anybody that's really old attest to that? As I close out 2010 I'd like to make note of all the significant occurrences that happened this last year, both good and didn't seem so good at the time. As we all know, life is about the journey, so here's where mine has been in the last 365 days...


*Bomb Squad is still going strong. I know people think it's cheesy and lame that we call ourselves that (you're right, by the way), but we aren't putting it to rest any time soon. Even when you think that you have the best friends in the world at age 14, it hardly ever stays that way and I find myself incredibly blessed by the way our friendship has grown and maintained over the years. I've added a couple other people to my very inner circle, and suffice to say I am hands down positive I have the best friends in the world.

*I've started--and ended--two romantic relationships over the past year. I don't know if I'm quite ready to put meaning to that, but it is what it is. I have faith God knows what he's doing and he's going to blow my socks off. Plus, I've grown a lot and learned a lot and I'm a better potential partner because of it. Someone out there is gonna be lucky. ;)

*My sister has finally come to terms with the fact that I'm better looking and funnier than her. Oh...and that she will never beat me at words with friends. You can't run from reality forever.

*At about this time last year, I made a few specific resolutions that were tied to my faith and the spiritual side of my life. I made a commitment to read my bible daily, tithe an actual 10%, begin attending a bible study, and start helping others. I can see the difference it's made in me and I'm happy I stuck with those resolutions.


*I coached myself. At the beginning of last year I was so confused as to what I should do and where I should go, but I ended up trusting in my own ability and talent and made the best of the situation right where I was at. I'm happy I did it, I'm happy with what I achieved, and I know there isn't much I can't do if I put my mind to it. Not too shabby, coach Bri.

*I still don't have a sponsor. It irks me because I know that I have achieved enough to deserve one, but then again, the word "deserve" is so relative. The upside to this is that I get to wear gold shorts and fun socks. (obviously I'm trying to look at the bright side.)

*I haven't learned to be consistent. I know that I have it in me to be great, but before that can happen, I need to learn how to be consistently good. There were some definite bright spots this season, but there were also many lows that didn't have to happen. I got injured, yea, but I also just flat out didn't perform when I could have/should have. Overall this season I give myself a B-. My brightest spots were Indoor Nationals (indoor personal best and top 2 to make the world team), New York Diamond League (traveling back from a disappointing Europe stint where I jumped terrible, and winning New York by just changing my mindset), and Outdoor Nationals (placing top 3 with a personal best, all while jumping on a muscle I tore before the comp started). The low points was pretty much the whole second half of the outdoor season, but mainly the Diamond League final and Continental Cup. Bleh!

Lately I have felt that my life is playing tricks on me, and all the sudden I have been feeling a little lost and confused, and I think that's why I'm happy the New Year is here. I realize it's only a day...nothing about your circumstances change from December 31st to January 1st, but it's a nice time to get yourself to regroup and refocus on your goals and aspirations that lie ahead. I expect big things in this next year and I want to know that I
am ready to embrace all that is in store for me. 2010 was good...but I want 2011 to be better!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

To Blog or Not to Blog...

They say it takes 21 days before something to become habit forming, but I've never seen any data on how long it takes to fall out of the habit of doing something you used to do regularly.

I used to blog on the regular. In fact, I used to think in blog form. Life would happen and I'd immediately think about it in terms of a blog post, complete with all my witty remarks. If I achieved something, I'd be sure to let my cyber friends know, and if I was struggling I'd share that too...because no story is complete if the lows aren't mentioned. Plateaus are booooring. But it seems I've fizzled out a bit. Now, life happens and I think of how I can share it in 140 characters or less. (mom, that means Twitter.).

So now, after 3 1/2 years of sharing a good portion of my life on the web, I'm struggling to decide if I have anything left to share. There is nothing worse then having a blog that is irregular. It's not good for the folks who read, who come to expect and look forward to your completely random and narcissistic ramblings, and it's not good for the writer, because not blogging regularly makes actually sitting down to write a blog really hard. Nothing seems quite worth it or important enough to share.

So before I enter 2011 I feel like i should make a decision. Either blog for 21 days straight and making blogging a habit again, or say farewell to what has been a great outlet to share my story and show the world a little piece of Bri they might not have known otherwise. I'm asking for thoughts and insight because I've always felt like blogging was about the community. Otherwise, let's face it--I could be writing in my diary and do whatever I please.

Maybe i have become boring and repetitive...let's face it, for 8 months out of the year my life is quite dull. There's only so many ways to tell you how excruciatingly awful taking an ice bath is. And unfortunately, my dating life has once again found it's way to ground zero, so no exciting news on that front either. I already know there are those folks who think I'm completely self-absorbed and think My life is far more fabulous than it really is. Those folks love to comment for some reason. This is your chance.

If I do stop, I will write a proper goodbye post (this ain't it!)... And if not, I'm counting on some help to inspire me in the coming year. For now, feel free to share your thoughts. We can come to a decision together...

Monday, December 20, 2010

Maxed Out

In training last week we maxed out in the weight room. Basically what that means for all you non-meatheads is we test to see where our strength levels are at by lifting heavy amounts of weight until we find our 1 rep max. The thing about it is, you usually can't tell whether or not you can lift anymore until you fail. That's what happened to me in the bench press. I gradually increased to a heavy weight (for me) picked the weight up off the rack, held it up above my head and took a few deep breaths, then lowered it down to my chest. When I went to transition the weight off my chest and push it back up, it got stuck and it wasn't going anywhere. That's when my spotter steps in and helps me lift the weight back up so it doesn't crush me.

That's my metephor for life right now.

I feel as if I'm laying down on the bench with this tremendous weight above my head and I'm just holding it up there because I can already tell that it's too much for me to lift. If I lower it down at this point and time it will crush me. I know it's heavy. i can feel it. And right now while it's at arms distance I feel like I can manage by just holding it there. So that's what I'm doing. I'm holding it up and taking deep breaths, all while trying to figure out a way to keep it from crushing me. Sooner or later I know I'm going to have to deal with it. But right now it's a matter of whether or not it comes crashing down or I somehow find the strength to lower it down on my own and then push it back up and off of me. I need to tap in to a strength that I don't know if I have or not.

I am a strong person, both physically and emotionally. But we all have our limits. And I hate failing. I hate when I feel like something has got the best of me. After that day in the weight room I knew that next time I maxed out I would not fail at that same weight. I'd work hard to get stronger because I believed I should be lifting more than that. I suppose this will be the same way. Maybe it gets the best of me and maybe I'm not able to handle it, but after it's over I will find a way to be stronger the next time around.

I have my spotters. Even though they can't make the hurt go away or stop the pain from coming, the people that truly do love and care about me will do what they can to help. I'm grateful for at least that because my arms are trembling and I don't know how much longer I can hold this up...